Several things on this thread caught my attention.
First of all, we ALL yell now and then. Living with our Difficult Child's is really hard, far more than parents of regular kids have any idea. It is only human to lose it and yell now and again. Don't beat yourself up for this. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can do.
Second, even if a disease is driving a behavior, there is still personal choice involved. Your son is not compelled to pee in a glass. He let himself get to the point where he was too tired and then he chose to use the glass rather than to get to the toilet. If it were not a choice, he would be wetting himself or the bed. He can choose to stop what he is doing earlier and go to the bathroom. If video games are a factor, as in he doesn't want to stop because he is playing the game, you have several choices.
You absolutely can remove all video games. Lock them up or get them out of the house to a location he doesn't get to. It is extreme but it IS possible. It might be easier as your son has such limited activities outside of the house and won't go do things outside the house.
This is the most extreme step. I don't think you are at the point where this would be best, but only you can make the decision. Expect your son's anxiety to raise to an extreme point, and for him to have periods of rage and outbursts against you and anyone else involved. expect irrational behavior, esp at first. For many kids, the games are their escape and coping mechanism. They don't have to face their problems while they are in the game, so they lose it completely when that is removed. been there done that and it was ugly for a week or two. Then things settled and he started enjoying things he refused to do before.
This isn't likely to be the best first step (total removal of games). I think regular, scheduled and enforced bathroom breaks are something to think about. When he is gaming, he must stop every hour and a half or 2 hours or 3 hours, and go to the bathroom. The game doesn't start until he produces. You can set an alarm to warn you both, and you may have to take the controller until he goes. This will prevent the need to urinate in a glass rather than to stop the game. He will develop a habit of getting up and going to the bathroom and that is what you want.
For just being too tired to go to the bathroom from his room, I think regular scheduled bathroom trips regardless of what he is doing is likely to be part of the answer. This trains the bladder and the body to getup and go and do your business in the bathroom. Having to get up when you don't feel an urge will be annoying to him, but that is what it is. If he didn't pee inappropriately, it would not need to happen. He also needs to be evaluated for sleep issues and other physical and psychological issues related to this.
The other thing that I think is very important is that HE is the one who cleans the glasses of pee. NO ONE else gets that privilege. If he pees somewhere else, he cleans that up too. This doesn't just mean emptying the glass, it means washing and disinfecting it also. For some kids that extra work is enough because it can be more hassle than they want. I would not let him use the dishwasher to clean the glasses after he pees in them. He should dump them in the toilet, then take them to the kitchen and rinse them, then wash them with dish soap and hot water. Then he should have to either soak them in boiling water or a solution of 1 TBSP bleach in 1 quart of water for ten minutes. After that he has to dispose of the bleach water, rinse the glass, and wash the glass and the bleach water container by hand.
Sure, that has some extra steps that might not be strictly needed, but the point is to make it a real hassle to just grab that glass and pee in it. He could spare himself the 3 or 4 minutes it would take to go to the bathroom and pee into the toilet by grabbing that glass, but it is going to cost him at least 15-20 minutes of time later to clean that one item.
I hope this helps. Please work to empower your son by letting him know that just having a disorder does not take your choices away. You still have the choice to fight and not give in to the disease or use the disease as an excuse to shrink your world and excuse inappropriate behaviors. By demanding appropriate behaviors and imposing logical consequences like cleaning the glass, you are telling him that you believe that he truly CAN control things and do things even though his disease might make them a challenge by putting obstacles in his way that he will have to overcome.
First of all, we ALL yell now and then. Living with our Difficult Child's is really hard, far more than parents of regular kids have any idea. It is only human to lose it and yell now and again. Don't beat yourself up for this. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can do.
Second, even if a disease is driving a behavior, there is still personal choice involved. Your son is not compelled to pee in a glass. He let himself get to the point where he was too tired and then he chose to use the glass rather than to get to the toilet. If it were not a choice, he would be wetting himself or the bed. He can choose to stop what he is doing earlier and go to the bathroom. If video games are a factor, as in he doesn't want to stop because he is playing the game, you have several choices.
You absolutely can remove all video games. Lock them up or get them out of the house to a location he doesn't get to. It is extreme but it IS possible. It might be easier as your son has such limited activities outside of the house and won't go do things outside the house.
This is the most extreme step. I don't think you are at the point where this would be best, but only you can make the decision. Expect your son's anxiety to raise to an extreme point, and for him to have periods of rage and outbursts against you and anyone else involved. expect irrational behavior, esp at first. For many kids, the games are their escape and coping mechanism. They don't have to face their problems while they are in the game, so they lose it completely when that is removed. been there done that and it was ugly for a week or two. Then things settled and he started enjoying things he refused to do before.
This isn't likely to be the best first step (total removal of games). I think regular, scheduled and enforced bathroom breaks are something to think about. When he is gaming, he must stop every hour and a half or 2 hours or 3 hours, and go to the bathroom. The game doesn't start until he produces. You can set an alarm to warn you both, and you may have to take the controller until he goes. This will prevent the need to urinate in a glass rather than to stop the game. He will develop a habit of getting up and going to the bathroom and that is what you want.
For just being too tired to go to the bathroom from his room, I think regular scheduled bathroom trips regardless of what he is doing is likely to be part of the answer. This trains the bladder and the body to getup and go and do your business in the bathroom. Having to get up when you don't feel an urge will be annoying to him, but that is what it is. If he didn't pee inappropriately, it would not need to happen. He also needs to be evaluated for sleep issues and other physical and psychological issues related to this.
The other thing that I think is very important is that HE is the one who cleans the glasses of pee. NO ONE else gets that privilege. If he pees somewhere else, he cleans that up too. This doesn't just mean emptying the glass, it means washing and disinfecting it also. For some kids that extra work is enough because it can be more hassle than they want. I would not let him use the dishwasher to clean the glasses after he pees in them. He should dump them in the toilet, then take them to the kitchen and rinse them, then wash them with dish soap and hot water. Then he should have to either soak them in boiling water or a solution of 1 TBSP bleach in 1 quart of water for ten minutes. After that he has to dispose of the bleach water, rinse the glass, and wash the glass and the bleach water container by hand.
Sure, that has some extra steps that might not be strictly needed, but the point is to make it a real hassle to just grab that glass and pee in it. He could spare himself the 3 or 4 minutes it would take to go to the bathroom and pee into the toilet by grabbing that glass, but it is going to cost him at least 15-20 minutes of time later to clean that one item.
I hope this helps. Please work to empower your son by letting him know that just having a disorder does not take your choices away. You still have the choice to fight and not give in to the disease or use the disease as an excuse to shrink your world and excuse inappropriate behaviors. By demanding appropriate behaviors and imposing logical consequences like cleaning the glass, you are telling him that you believe that he truly CAN control things and do things even though his disease might make them a challenge by putting obstacles in his way that he will have to overcome.