Almost a year ago my 13 year old twin step sons came to live with their father and I. Their behavior at their mother's was so out of hand, she didn't want to have them in her home anymore. We've found that 90% of the time they are the carefree, respectful kids we've always known but if anything happens that would require discipline, ea: acting out at school, getting caught in a lie, failing a class, whatever it may be, they freak out. We don't yell/raise our voice, we offer to hear their side of the story first and if they have anything to say for themselves (they never do.) and then discuss the event and hand down a discipline which is typically grounded from friends, electronics etc for X amount of time and depending on the severity, no allowance either. At this point they will either rage and cuss us all out and tell us the most hurtful and terrible things you can think of. Throw stuff at the walls, punch the walls, once one of them even punched their father in the stomach. There I wasn't any force behind it but just the fact that he had the guts to go there is unnerving, then when my husband pushed him away to prevent it from happening again the kid started yelling "child absuer". I honestly and truely believe they do what ever they can to try and encite chaos and dysfunction. We ignore it, remain calm, and leave them in their room and go about our evening without them when this happens. Now they've taken to just flat out walking out the front door and "running away", as in they will leave, right in front of us when they know they're grounded, yet they always come back by the time curfew would be when they aren't in trouble. I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope. We have a 20 month old in the house and I know the environment is hurting him and I'm due Nov. 11 of this year and it's so much stress to think about bringing home a new baby in this choas. They ultimately don't care about consequences or losing privileges and will just wait out their punishment indefinitely. Their mother wants no part of anything and is zero help. And we're military, in a new town. We have no one around to help us or to turn to. I cry every day just from being overwhelmed with this feeling of hopelessness and the fear of having to live like this for 4.5 more years. They won't go to church when we ask . We haven't dared bring up them seeing a therapist for that same reason. What can we do? We need so much help.