Tell me what to do for my passed out drug addict son

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Shei, Nov 15, 2013.

  1. Shei

    Shei New Member

    My son is 18 and for the past 3 years has done all sort of drugs including herion. He's now on suboxin but he continues to order **** thru the mail that makes him sleep or relax and he injects the stuff...he's combined a number of things now to include benedryl.. He's now passed out on the couch and I'm checking out his bedroom where I found the needles powered stuff and baggies that tianaptine and phenibut. He went to the suboxin doctor today and she drug tested him and said it only shows suboxin and marquana, right now I don't know if he's ok but he does mumble if I try to wake him.. Also I've threatened to kick him out but he has no where to go and he doesn't take me seriously..please tell me what do.
  2. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. You can call for an ambulance or call the police. He needs some help and obviously he's not listening to his doctor. Give him a date to get out of your home. Check to make sure you don't have to give him an eviction notice. If he doesn't get out by that date, call the police to help you with removing him. Then change the locks on your doors. You can give him a list of places for help and shelters. Others will be along who have had to make their difficult child move out. Mine was underage at the time and we were able to get him court ordered into a residential program.
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    If you havent already call an ambulance. My son overdosed on benedryl and it made him totally delusional. It was scary. Once you know he is medically stable then think long and hard about what you are willing to do or not do for him..... my suggestion is to help him if he wants help, and if he doesnt want help then dont help him.... cause any help you give will go towards using.

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with flower garden and TL. He is injecting drugs in his body. He needs to be detoxes and in treatment or out on the street until he's ready. I know that sounds harsh but many of us have had to face it. Contact your police to make sure you can make him leave your home without giving notice.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Shei and welcome to our little corner of the CD board. Your son does have someplace to go . . . rehab . . . and that is where he needs to go. You are not doing him any favors living in your house where he can use drugs with impunity.

    I know how hard it is to do to give them an ultimatum but it is your only choice right now. My difficult child moved in and out for years and just spiraled down until she ultimately overdosed on heroin on our living room couch. Luckily, my husband came home in the nick of time and was able to do chest compressions which kept her alive until the EMT's were able to get there.

    Our state has a 30 day eviction notice required for anyone that has established residency (even non rent paying adults). Our difficult child knew about the law and refused to leave. We ended up hiring an interventionist who worked with us to get our daughter into treatment. Our difficult child still refused to go to a residential treatment center even after the intervention so the interventionist suggested that we go to family court and get a temporary protection order against difficult child. When the deputies showed up at our house to escort her out, she realized she didn't have any options and did go to the treatment center in another state that was highly recommended by her DBT therapist and the interventionist.

    I'm sure that others will come along with their stories and suggestions and advice. We truly understand what you are going through because we have lived it.

  6. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    There are times when the situation is so awful that we don't know how to say what needs to be said ~ or how to justify saying what needs to be said, though we know we have to. This opening phrase was something I could say. When the conversation would go off-track (which it does with people who are using drugs), I would return to that phrase and be able to take enough strength from it to say what I needed to say.

    "I love you too much to watch you self-destruct."

    Then, present your ultimatums. He needs treatment, or he needs to leave. You are not going to help him destroy himself or support him while he does it.

    Another phrase we found helpful: "You were raised better than to do what you are doing."

    Your son does need treatment for his addictions. The lifestyle he is choosing can become dangerous to you and to any other children in the home, very, very fast. This is a toll-free number for you to access information on what is available for you, and for your son in your area: 211 Because there have been so many cut-backs lately, not all states have the 211 system any longer. If your state doesn't, you can google United Way Information and Referral. There will be a toll-free number there.

    If that doesn't work, go to the blue (government) pages in your phone book. Look for Information and Referral. If there isn't one, contact Social Services. You can just tell them you need to speak to a social worker, that you are looking for information, and that you wish to remain anonymous.

    What you need to know is how to proceed. If you aren't ready to make your son leave home yet, then therapy or some kind of support group for you will be a good thing to do. If you are not already attending Al-Anon or something similar, the parents there will be able to help you become strong and committed enough to take the lead in getting your son out of your home and into treatment.

    One of the above resources should help you get in touch with people who can help your son. If none of the above resources help, then call the crisis line at your local hospital. They should have numbers on file where you can begin searching for what help is available in your area for yourself, and for your son, and how to access those services.

    I know what this feels like. I have been where you are, now. I know how much you love your son, and I am sorry, so sorry, this has happened to your child.

    If he refuses treatment, he still needs to leave. Find the numbers for shelters in your area. Call them to familiarize yourself with them. This will help you be strong enough to drop your son off near one.

    You do hold all the power over your own life. The horror of it is that you may not be able to save your son's life.

    I am so sorry.

  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    At age 17 I had to give my daughter the ultimatum of rehab or leaving the home after finding a meth pipe in her room. We had already gone through a couple of years of h*ll prior to that. She chose to leave and was homeless for a couple of years, got in trouble with the law and then got pregnant. Fortunately, I was able to coordinate with the courts and she ended up locked up for the duration of her pregnancy. Having her son completely changed her for the good - but it is the ONLY thing that ever had any impact on her.

    Anyway, I digress. If I had not given her that ultimatum, I am not sure she would be alive today. By providing a roof over her head, food, clothing, etc - she had a real cozy life while she was abusing drugs. Why would she want to change any of that?? I am sure that I would have found her dead upstairs if nothing changed and I had another younger child to protect.

    The truth is, you are not helping him. You are enabling him. I know it is natural to want to provide for and take care of our children but he has to hit bottom to want change. He has to be so uncomfortable, that change is the only answer. By providing anything for him while he is using drugs, you are pushing bottom further down.

    Many, many hugs to you. It takes a lot of strength - you will need your warrior armor. We are here for you. Please remember to take care of yourself...