Therapeutic parenting?????....

[timer lady]

At kt's family therapy this past Wednesday I told kt that she would notice a difference in me (she has already). I told her with therapist there, that I was taking care of me; putting my needs ahead of hers for the first time in years - ever since I've become a parent.

kt was asked how she felt about this; it took a lot for her to answer honestly but first she said it scared her, then shared that it's about time. Consequently, kt went on to apologize for all the trouble she & wm brought into our home.

I let kt know that before she becomes an adult I would like to have fun. Not have to worry about this & that all the time. I asked her to look at my sisters & SILs & their daughters relationships at this age. How much fun & how honest they were with one another. I told kt that's what I wanted with her. I would still be the parent, in charge but with a lot less worry & a bit more fun.

So what do you think? I'm so drained from always having to walk on eggs about my children that I'm quitting the full time stint.

 

[susiestar]

I think it was very needed. kt NEEDED to start to think about her behavior compared with more normal mother-daughter relationships (if there is such a thing I am sure your family shows it, mine, sadly, does not.)

It is time kt started working toward being more "normal" and appropriate. She isn't a small child anymore. She has grown so much that it is time for this. These are the year she learns to be an adult in. So what you have done is to help show her how to figure that out.

Good Job!

 

[Wiped Out]

Linda,
This sounds like a really good idea. I'm glad was able to verbalize how she felt. I'm glad you are taking care of you! Hugs!

 

[gcvmom]

Kudos to you! If nothing else, it will help preserve your sanity and sense of identity. And those really are worth saving.

 

[timer lady]

gcvmom, you hit the nail on the head - I can no longer be dragged into this constant illness. I once mentioned here that I'm losing my sense of self - the whole of me to an illness I had no control over.

wm was informed last night & he's none to happy with me. First the guilt trip, the anger, etc, etc, etc,

He's an intelligent young man with skills - can he use them? AND I love him - doubt he heard that part.