There is something seriously, seriously wrong with our system...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    So in order for difficult child to be admitted into the rehab program, she had to apply and be approved for TANF (welfare). I was told our income wouldn't count because she doesn't live here - she is only here temporarily (less than 90 days).

    She was denied food stamps because we are letting her and her baby stay here so our income would count. We are middle class and make too much. We went to the welfare office yesterday and I explained to them the situation and they said our income counts because as of the day she applies, she is here in our home.

    So, pretty much, in order for our daughter to receive benefits from a system we have paid into for YEARS, we have to kick her and her baby out and send them to a shelter. Oh, but let's not forget that if we kick her out of here, she goes back to jail because she is on house arrest.

    This is positively, absolutely ridiculous. I think I have officially turned Republican. It makes me want to vomit that I bust my behind working and paying into a system that won't help MINE???

    I emailed the treatment coordinator and she is now looking into other programs. This is such BS. She is doing so unbelievably well. She is a sheer joy to be around and is being a wonderful mother to her son. She wants a job and wants to go back to school to make something of herself. And she is stuck. It is NOT right. Not at all. :(
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I agree, this is rediculous!

    So you and husband are penalized for success? No help for daughter and grandson because you worked too hard and prospered. That is BS!

    Sure hope the treatment coordinator finds a good program for difficult child. Sure sounds like difficult child is ready to have a future. That's terrific!

    PS...knowing you You will find a way to get difficult child the help she needs...You're a very strong advocate for your daughter!
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Can the courts help you by telling welfare that she is actually living in jail and out on a "temporary pass" under house arrest? Just trying to think outside the box, because really... she isn't living with you, she's waiting for her next court-ordered placement. She probably needed to apply for welfare while she was still in jail, except... they don't pay welfare if you're in jail.

    (trust me, our system isn't much better)
  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    husband and I actually feel bad for her. She loves us and loves being with us, but she really wants to provide for her son on her own. She wants to go to school - she is thinking about going for business and asked ifwould help her find out what she has to do to get into school. But she is literally stuck. I'm telling you. This is a different woman we have here. She has still not even tried to get a hold of anyone from her drug days. Still hasn't touched a cigarette (or anything else of course). She has been reconnecting with friends she grew up with - ones that strayed away from her when she started using (who have also since had children so it is nice to have other mommy friends). I don't mind one bit if they live here while she goes to school, but goodness, let her do something. It has been almost a month now and we are nowhere as far as getting her future started...

    The only thing I can think of doing is asking them to let her off house arrest so she can change her address and get help!
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOL about the Republican and GRRRRRRR about the TANF. I don't understand their reasoning. I'm so sick of those who bust their butts not getting any help when they need it.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Okay, here is where my knowledge comes in. How old is your dtr? Oh darn, if she is still 19 there might be an issue though her having a child might make a difference.

    If your dtr was 21 or over she could get both without a problem. Im going to do some digging into your laws. Are you in GA or SC? I need to know. I can understand the manuals because this is what I did for a living. If anyone can figure something out, its me. Im also going to PM you.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, the Republicans are the ones who WANT everyone off entitlements so I think you're blaming the wrong people.

    The system has been this way through both parties however. Here is another goofball example.

    Sonic still lives here so his income, which we don't use, counts as household income and we therefore do not qualify for things like foodstamps. I can afford to go shopping maybe twice a month and spend $100 each time. You can imagine how little food we have, but we are used to it. This is all because Sonic still lives here, even though his money is his own. But we can't CLAIM Sonic as a disabled adult in our house when taxes come around. Why not? They are implying his income is part of the household income, but we can't use it at tax time.

    Another example. I am on disability and would love to work, but lack the ability to work many jobs and the ones I could do do not include healthcare. So in order for me to keep my Medicare and Medicaid, which I get due to Disability, I have to remain disabled. This means I can only make a certain amount of money if I work so if I try to better my family's monetary situation, I lose healthcare. So would husband and daughter, who are still under State Healthcare, but that may change now that the AFA kicked in. At any rate, it would cost more for me to get a job and contribute more to my house and to society than if I don't work or work very little because healthcare is so incredibly expensive and I don't want to lose it.

    People who are on welfare have learned to work for cash. Many babysit or are maids for cash under the table. Some cook pies and cakes and only. When I only.

    Our country has such a wobbly social safety net compared to other industrialized nations that we are driven to do these things and I don't blame anyone for playing the game. What if you have no family to back you up and the world falls in?

    I'm sorry your daughter is caught in the middle of these silly rules. I hope you can figure something out without throwing them out.
  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Oh I will NOT throw them out. That is not an option. She has done absolutely nothing wrong and everything right. We have a hearing on October 18th to at least get her off of house arrest. We are looking into a couple other programs and last option will be intensive outpatient about ten minutes away. She even told them she is ready to go somewhere where they will help her get on her feet. I can provide a roof and food, but I also have to work. She needs more support. Though she did tell them that she honestly has no idea where she would be without me.. :)
  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I hate loopholes. I know they are there to keep people from abusing the system but in cases like this the innocent pay for the wrong doings of others.
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet, PG is in Georgia. I was told the same thing when I tried to get my difficult child on food stamps (in preparation of getting her to move out before we found out about the heroin). Even though she was 27 at the time, the application asked for the household income which included husband and me. That meant she didn't qualify. There may be a way around that . . . I didn't pursue it.

  11. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Sorry you are going through this. There are so many injustices with our system. We had social security take money back from my mother in law because she was hospitalized and unable to take care of her daughter, even though she was still the guardian of her daughter. That is just one of the various problems we have faced.
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    FG that is unbelievable!!!! SO wrong!!

    It all just really infuriates me... :-[
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    This is an appropriate week to acknowledge that there is alot wrong with our system! Sorry, PG. DDD
  14. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Well, she knows now that M got sentenced to 12 years. Surprisingly, no tears - at least none that I saw. I was really expecting her to take it hard.

    She talks about meeting someone else - asked where are the single dads out there? LOL

    Connor turned a month old yesterday and he is a grinning boy!! Especially for grammy in the mornings. :) husband has completely fallen in love with him, too. Man, nothing sexier than watching your husband be an awesome grampa. ;) There is NO question and we have told difficult child straight out - make no mistake - if she ever travels down that road she was on before, she will be out on her butt and we will get custody of Connor. We will let NO harm come to this boy. As long as she is being who she is today - she can stay here with him as long as it takes. Of course, she wants to be on her own and we want that for her, too. But, she has a roof over her head as long as she needs it. If I need to bring her to and from outpatient every day, so be it. I'll do what ever I need to.

    She is getting more and more comfortable with him (and falling even more in love). I am back to actually getting work done during the day. We are together as a family at night. Life is good. :)