I can't even begin to explain why, but all I can say is it happened. I was weak, and I gave myself the excuse that this would be my last time. I told him to make certain he was ready to change because this was the last chance he had with me. We went back and forth on the phone, my mom and him went back and forth on the phone, finally i gave in and went to pick him up. I was exhausted and had to be up at four, so we haven't made a contract, just the understanding that this was it and you have to help yourself. In a very strange twist of fate, his former boss stopped at our house yesterday to see where we had found our hay (shortage here this year)He asked about difficult child and told husband he was a good worker. Tonight husband told difficult child that he had stopped by, difficult child called him and he is going to pickup difficult child in the morning to work ~ this is a godsend, we live in a rural town and you have to have a vehicle to get around, we didn't know how difficult child was going to get to a job. I have my full armour on, I am expecting nothing, but if he has to leave again I believe I will be able to sleep at night knowing I did do all I could do. We had a talk when I got in tonight, it has all been said before but I just compared the people that he had been around and how they had nothing and how they all blamed someone else for their grief and I told him to look at us, we getup and work everyday to be able to live the way we want to. And Barbara ~ I told him he was not raised to live that way!!!!! hopefully he will get it!!!!