This is so difficult...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Jun 3, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    older Difficult Child came over for a few hours, with the intent to clear out her car in our back yard that doesn't run. Would you believe 5 loads of filthy clothes and blankets?? It's a tiny car! And she has only had the car for a year and it hasn't ran for the last 3 months. I made her sort them on the patio as I didn't want to chance bringing bugs in the house.

    She got two loads in the washer, one in the dryer, and I guess I will finish them up as she went back to her dads. One load she did not want any more, or they were not hers, do I put back in the car, along with a pair of shoes, and 4 single shoes that we didn't find the matches for!

    Then she complained about not having money, or a job, or a car that worked. Someone called and offered her to babysit for several hours for $10... But she decided to go to the lake with her cousin.

    I asked about the job openings that o sent her info on...and she had "reasons" it wouldn't work. She has reasons for everything that doesn't go her way.

    She did complain about all the things she forgets to do. I feel bad. When she lived at home, I was her external brain. Now she doesn't have that. I told her to try using her phone for reminders...or a to do list...or a paper calendar...she says she loses lists, calendars, etc. she gets reminders on her phone, but after receiving them, turns them off and forgets.

    Next week, she has her third dr appointment for birth control. Forgot the first two. Now can't remember what time her spot is on Tuesday...

    Asked me to drive her by someone house, as she left her Drivers license in their car on Thursday.

    I hate that by my trying to help her, she gets frustrated at me. I don't think she will survive boot camp.
    Said she was suppose to meet the recruiter this morning, but was up til 4am, and slept thru the alarm she had set.

    Just tired of this. But glad I don't live with her 24/7.

    Ksm
     
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    KSM, reading your post brought back memories of my own patterns with my daughter.....and yes, it is so difficult. I'm really sorry, I know exactly how you feel.......how exhausting it is.....I've got no great ideas, just wanted you to know I'm reading along and I get it.....

    ,,,,,,go do something really nice for yourself...
     
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Thanks for understanding. Most people see a completely different side of her. She presents well. But after a while she can't hide all the difficulties.

    This was the first time she talked about how hard it was to remember anything. Most the time, when she lived at home, she acted like there was nothing wrong with her, it was all in my head...she was fine.

    Ksm
     
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT was usually able to keep everything straight, as she is a compulsive list maker who also printed out calendars with class times, work times, meeting friends times.

    My Hubby, however, sounds very much like your older Difficult Child. He can hold it together at work, but his car is a disaster, he can't find things, he doesn't remember appointments, he gets these fabulous wonderful terrific ideas and buys all the crap and then never follows through, so said crap sits in the back yard to get rained on because he's gone on to the next fabulous wonderful terrific idea...