I'm coming late to this, I've hardly been home except to sleep, for the last week or more. I've posted the bare minimum and today is my first chance to even get to Watercooler.
Oh, Linda, I'm so sorry to find out about husband and what has happened. And you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty- my goodness, HE was the one who couldn't cope, because alcohol removes so much of your ability to cope.
Back in the days when I used to drink occasionally I had a job that was very stressful, I often desperately wanted a drink to calm me down after a bad day. However, I learnt FAST that you can't have a drink, not one, while the kids need to be looked after. I would get the kids to bed and then have my drink. But if I just once gave way and had a drink while the kids were still up, I found they were much more stressful to deal with and we didn't get on well.
And I never had more than two drinks in a night, often not even that.
So if I wasn't coping with any alcohol on board, I hate to think how your husband has been going, trying to use alcohol to cope and thereby reducing his coping skills further. It's a vicious circle, a nasty Catch 22. And it's entirely on him, because it should have been obvious to him what the cause was.
It's a nasty time for you, to have to deal with all this over the holiday period when you should be able to relax after a difficult year. Instead, you're having to make these decisions, put holidays on hold and face distressed kids and your own feelings. And the hospital staff - it's wonderful that they are there, but they have families too and should be able to enjoy the holidays without having to look after what amounts to self-inflicted illness. mother in law is a retired nurse, I remember when she used to work and was often rostered on over Christmas. We would wait to have Christmas dinner and open presents, after she got home. Often she just wanted to go to bed and sleep, instead of celebrate.
Truly, alcoholism is a nasty disease that takes its toll on so many people. Nobody deserves this.
I hope you can continue to look after yourself through this, Linda. Candles are lit, beads are rattling, anyone wanting to do the naked chicken dance can come over here where our summer is hitting its hottest days. Just don't frighten my chickens, they're on the lay at the moment.
Marg
