Well-Known Member
Took difficult child to a doctor's appointment this morning. Small shades of old difficult child appeared. Not huge, but husband and I are aware and alert.

difficult child is sick (so stayed with us last night). I know he doesn't feel well. We've all battled "the crud" this week in our house, so welcome to the club. Today is his son's 4th b-day (he's not allowed to see him yet). He has regrets. Which is healthy, because the damage was real.

LAST YEAR --- On difficult child's son's b-day he went into a drugged-up tailspin and intentionally laid down in traffic (2 lanes of traffic each direction, 35 mph speed limit). Cars dodged him. Someone called police. Police took him to psychiatric Unit. He stayed approx 10 hrs, then was released.....right back into meth/crime.

THIS YEAR --- difficult child clearly has better coping skills now and, I believe, is genuinely trying. However, last night he announced that he was "still bipolar" and sometimes felt unstable (he's vacillating on seeing psychiatric for tx). Said he felt his head buzzing and separate from his body. YES, I'm aware of the range of things that can mean.

difficult child said he would text me later to say he was "ok". I suspect he will text. I also suspect he'll weather this storm today. Although, I am aware of his past actions on this day and of relapse potential.

Surprisingly, I'm not actively jumping to big conclusions about how tonight will go. But it is fair to say that it does remind me of last year and my heart beats a little faster today, just remembering the incident last year. It has that PTSD/anxiety twinge/feel about it. That stinks.

Just came here to share my thumpity heart beat today. Thanks for listening. :)


Active Member
HM, I am waiting in anticipation to hear what happens. If nothing major happens, it is a success. He is going to have some triggering memories of his past along the way and it's going to be hard as hell for him to not relapse. I always say the first three months, six months, even year are the easiest to stay clean. You have a whole bunch of will power, but will power only last so long. If he is going to succeed, he is going to have to forgive himself for his past. He is still young and his son is still young. If he starts changing things now, this nightmare can be a very distant memory. He is going to need a lot of help and support, not just from you guys, but from his community resources as well. He needs to know that he can do it, he's worth it and it CAN change for him! Especially at his age. So many people turned their lives around from a very bad drug past and so can he! I suggest he finds people who have done it and use it as inspiration!


Well-Known Member
Thank you all for your comments.

Aaaaaaaand the answer is............... YES, he texted and later made a little appearance. He's coping. Not happy, but coping. Good job, difficult child. And that, my friends, makes tonight a good night. (which is nice after a not-so-great morning)
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