Transitioning back to District- when is it right?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lizanne2, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Hello everyone:

    The district has determined that my difficult child is ready to transition back to the High school. He has been out of district since the very start of the 6th grade. He will be starting as a sophomore next fall if all goes as planned.
    He is doing well academically at the very small Special Education high school. He is still sometimes in TOR and hasn't stayed on level in the past month. He does play sports at the district high school and was in the musical there. He did have a fight with a boy on the football team. Over all his attitude there is good. Especially with the director of the musical who gave him a substantial role which he handled without incident and turned in a good performance. (The football team definitely had some bullies; wrestling and baseball seem fine.)

    He wants to return but as the year closes seems apathetic. District has always been his goal.

    I am seeking advice--when do you know it is time? how to prepare? How to fight it? How to be sure it doen't fall apart!

    Any thoughts?
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi Lizanne,

    difficult child doesn't sound apathetic to me... perhaps he's concerned about being able to do & maintain well enough to stay at the mainstream school? A crisis of confidence?

    Another thought is that his desire to be there has changed because of the bullies or other struggles he's already faced there? He may be more comfortable being a big fish in a small pond so to speak.
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm guessing it could be one of two things:

    1. He's been working towards this goal for several years and sometimes attaining a goal leads to momentary let "what next?"


    2. He's scared and it's coming across as apathy.

    ok, here's a 3rd thought....

    3. He's thrilled but wants to be perceived as "cool" about it. :)

    I would suggest having a backup plan to give him the confidence to move forward but have a fallback position that would help him save face if it doesn't work out.

    Best of luck. This is very, very EXCITING!

  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If you decide to move him back one thing I would be doing in your shoes is to find out as much about teachers as possible from other parents, and then make teacher requests based on that info. Having a good team of teachers on board during an important transition like this can make all the difference in the world.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What supports are they offering for his transition? How many periods will he spend in "normal" classes and how many smaller ones? So much of education is based on trust. Do you trust the coordinator? Is there class selection based on issues that relate to his needs?

    difficult child graduates in May with a standard certificate. It has taken a bunch of trust (as well as subtle and not so subtle advocacy) to have achieved this.
    on the other hand I have to say that he was teased or labeled "an ESE kid" by his peers
    and that made it difficult for him. It's quite possible that your son "may" be concerned about how he'll be received at the school if he is a fulltime student
    there, instead of a visitor.

    I'd be seeking as much detailed transition info as is available. As was mentioned can find out who the "caring" teachers are that is a huge help. Good luck. DDD
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would insist upon a transition plan and possible back up plans just in case.

    High school is a scary place. If he has reservations that is probably a good thing. Sometimes we do have to make decisions for them even when they are not ready. How did he handle the bullies? Was he appropriate? What do you see for him in the future if he does not make this transition?
  7. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Would it be possible to attend 1 or 2 classes in the HS first, with the rest of the classes in his current setting, then slowly increase time at the HS? It seems like it's a huge jump to go from a self-contained setting full-time back to HS full-time.

    In my family, year-end apathy is par for the course. ;)
  8. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Thanks all..... I will be working the transition plan. Lots of detail. He will be all mainstream clasees, i think. When he is bored academically he tends to 'get in trouble'. He is spendign one of two days shadowing friends at the high school. Hopefully he will have some thoughts after that.

    Ya' Know, he didn't handle the bullies so well. Acutally, the other players on the tem tried to get this particular player to leave him alone with the name calling and belittling comments and teasing. (FYI- this players father is the coach whu refuses to shake difficult child's hand after little league games?) Where are the coaches? Unsure. The athletic director paid good lip service to the incident but we will see....... The second incident he was sticking up for a friend who was being bullied. He was suspended from team for a week..... the asst vp felt badly as difficult child explained that the his friend was already bleeding and no one woudl stop the fight. Again, coaches????????

    teacher research is a great idea. I am trying to arrange to get him in Chorus first period woththe teacher who simply as loved him since the 3rd grade. She can't understand how any one coudl ahve a problem with him. ;)

    Thanks for the support. Scheduling a meeting with IEP team.