Trying so hard to let go.

Discussion in 'Failure to Thrive' started by Maisy, Nov 22, 2016.

  1. Maisy

    Maisy Member

    My husband, son and I are scheduled to leave today to head to New Mexico to see our daughter. The plans were all set. Pick up son's girlfriend at the airport Thursday morning and head to my daughter's boyfriend's family for Thanksgiving. We are staying at my daughter's while my son and his girlfriend were to stay in a hotel. Well my son cannot get his stuff together in time to leave. We set a time of 6pm to leave because we have a 6 hour drive tonight. So we are going to leave without him. We have been down this road many times but always waited for him or helped him along. Not this time, we are done. So the flight will have to be cancelled and the hotel room too. Not sure what my son is going to tell his girlfriend or what he will do for Thanksgiving. His apartment is a pigsty and all he wants to do is get high. I am trying to accept that this is the right thing to do. We have enabled him enough.
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry...plus the timing of a major "family" holiday just makes things worse. I have no clue what I would do in the situation, except to be a hot mess.

    You deserve this vacation. Enjoy your time with your daughter.

    KSM
     
  3. Maisy

    Maisy Member

    Thanks for the support. So tired of always waiting around for our son who can never show up on time or show any respect for us. A couple of days ago, we offered to help clean his apartment. When we showed up, he was high as a kite! Never saw him like that before. So we did not help that day. My husband went down next day and my son was off doing something else. So you can see we have to stop "helping " him. I feel bad about him missing this trip, but it is probably for the best.
     
  4. Mamacat

    Mamacat Active Member

    I can hear it in your voice. You've had enough. I'm thinking we've all been there when we say "I'm finished" may be a valuable lesson learned for him, hopefully. One never knows. Please enjoy your holiday. I've decided my difficult 45 year old daughter is not going to ruin any more of my days. I don't want to give her that much power anymore. It's not easy, but it's doable. We've all suffered enough.
     
  5. Maisy

    Maisy Member

    I agree. I have been reading Alison Bottke'S Setting Boundaries and I keep thinking about all of the times we enabled our son. I know that you are not supposed to feel guilty.but it is hard not to when your difficult child grows into to a difficult adult.