Update and still reaching out

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by RPmom, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. RPmom

    RPmom New Member

    well I made it through Christmas. I went to my sisters house and of course my daughter was not invited and did not attend. My sister bought her a small gift – and our journal that my daughter loved. My brother and sister-in-law did not bring anything for me to give to her and I did not require. The family is obviously angry and does not know how to react to her behavior.
    I was lucky enough to have a friend invite me on a short weekend trip this Friday and Saturday. Suddenly feeling sorry for my daughter I texted her to see if she wanted to stay in the house while I was gone – knowing that was the wrong thing and that everyone on this site has advised me don’t do that. It didn’t matter. She said she would talk to her boyfriend who I have banned from the house forever and as it turned out she did not respond to my offer and they did not stay there. Whew! Got me out of that one that I almost got myself into.
    I’ve seen her since then. She is a tough girl for sure. She says that they are staying at friends house but I don’t know. Her phone is broken so we are now communicating through his phone. I tried to clean up her room but seriously it is an impossible task.
    She was supposed to come over this morning just to take whatever she wanted before I threw everything else out and have the maids clean it from head to toe. I spoke to her on the phone twice and she said she was there trying to clean the room then she called and told me she couldn’t get anything done. It is always been like this. She cannot complete a simple task much less a more complex one.
    When I got home she was either just leaving or drove up behind me and came and asked me if she could have this big board that I had in my garage. It was meant to go under my sink that had recently flooded so I asked her why she needed it. She said something that made no sense. Her eyes are hollow she’s lost more weight she’s not sleeping her voice is deep and she is slurring her words which is not really that uncommon. I just hugged her and told her I loved her and I didn’t want this life for her but I couldn’t fix it for her. She didn’t asked to stay or for anything else. For a moment I saw something in her eyes that almost look like sorrow or regret but then the toughness returned and she just said close the garage after me. I did and she was gone.
     
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    Sounds like you are holding your boundaries with love. I am glad she did not come to stay while you were gone though. A lesson learned.
     
  3. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    I am glad you got a little time to yourself.
    Also VERY glad she didn't stay in your house. You better think 4x before ever issuing that type of invitation.
    Obviously she likes the situation she is in.
     
  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    I know you are very sad, but there is nothing else you can do but let her know you love her. Let her know you will do anything to help her get well and nothing that helps her stay sick. It's so difficult to see our children struggling. Sending peace to you.
     
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