my daughter saw a doctor today. they are giving her a low dose of lamictal. made a diagnosis of mood disorder not otherwise specified. doctor thinks it maybe bi-polar given her actions and family history. her dad and stepmum spoke to her about the cutting. first she did some "lying" according to her stepmum (via im) about how "first she said she did it because 2 of her friends were giving her a hard time. saying she was stupid, worthless and things like that." her stepmum replied "BS. since when do you hang out with people that talk to you like that? since when do you allow people to talk to you like that?" i can see that since my daughter is a person that really would not allow another person to speak down to her. also according to her stepmum "the whole thing was pre-meditated. she planned it." for attention. i am at a lose, because in my humble opinion either way something is wrong somewhere. so for now i am being kept informed by her dad and stepmum (more her stepmum) it is honestly killing me inside- since i know what it is like because with my PTSD years ago, i use to put out ciggy butts on my arm. i did to feel the pain that was inside. that was gee i would say well over 13 years ago. i have always been honest with my kids about my PTSD and the family history. how can you NOT? kids ask questions especially the why dont i know my grandparents..why this..i am sure you get the picture. i think i am blaming myself...then again as a mother i blame myself for alot of things that go wrong. as a mother i think that is normal. i want to thank those who posted in my previous post. i can not think you all in words. just knowing that i can vent and someone will understand is more than i can ask for. my son is still in RT. so for right now i am not flying out. i think we as parents agree that spending the money to fly out, when we dont know when he is getting out- and to make an appearance right now- would be unwise. it is alot of money to fly to the usa from germany- and i am picking up my son anyways after RT. so for now we are just going to wait. in the meantime, i will speak to her (daughter) via telephone. i am off for now. i have not slept in the past 24 hours since i found this all out.