Should I phrase it like one of those brag-fest letters we get each Christmas from classmates I haven't seen since high school? "Difficult Child briefly considered resuming his camping adventure, this time in our local bus station, but his father has convinced him to focus on his studies this semester. Husband and I continue to be amazed at his resourcefulness in testing the limits of reason. In fact, just this morning we looked at each other and said, 'What the *&C% is he up to now?!'" In all seriousness... As background, d.c. moved back in with us in August wanting to go back to college and saying he could not do so living on the edge as he was. Despite this request being the 5th or 6th time we have done so, husband and I elected to pay 1 semester of tuition and see how it went, provided d.c. got a job and kept his grades up. Difficult Child did get a job. We rarely saw him study. We went through many cycles of his drinking escalating, us talking to him, him sobering up for a few days, then the drinking starting again. Once husband found him passed out on the floor. Another time we found that he had broken into our locked bar (though he did replace what he drank). The Sunday before last (the start of finals week), I picked him up at work and I could see and smell that he had been drinking at work. After a long talk, he agreed to go to detox and asked me to let his professors know he needed an extension on completing his classwork and to let his boss know he would not be at work through Friday, though he expected to work Sunday. I did so. His detox was to last 5 days, with release on Friday evening. We did not hear from him, so on Saturday evening we drove to the detox unit and found out he had been released Friday morning. He has twice previously checked himself out of rehab and gone MIA for months at a time. husband and I assumed he had taken off again. His boss called me to confirm that he was working Sunday, and I told her that I did not know for sure, but she should assume that he would not be in. He finally called Sunday night, saying he "just needed some time off" and was visiting friends. By that time we had packed his stuff and his boss had fired him for being a no-show. We told him he had until the weekend after Christmas to make other living arrangements and find a job because we couldn't stand the ups and downs anymore. He came home livid that *I* caused him to lose his job. His position was that if I hadn't gone to the detox unit and violated his privacy by finding out he had been discharged, his boss would have *assumed* that he was still out sick and would not have fired him for being a no-show. He left at 6 a.m. last Tuesday for a "job interview" (in filthy clothes with messy hair and his teeth not brushed) and disappeared until Friday. The "job interview" turned out to be a girl he met in detox. After a 4-day drunk, he changed his mind about starting a new life with her and came home. husband and I agreed once again that we could not live like this and that he would have to be out the weekend after Christmas. Last Saturday, grades came out. Difficult Child got A's in all of his classes. Sunday morning husband looked at me and I knew he had changed his mind. He said this is the first time d.c. has ever seen anything through (which is true) and that he won't be able to go to class if he goes back to his old living situation (also true). husband said knocking d.c.'s feet out from under him the one time he gets it right doesn't seem like the right thing to do. He said, "I think of d.c. like global warming -- it's our duty to not leave the world with this mess if we can help it." I told husband that my concern at this point, to be brutally honest, is for husband's feelings, not Difficult Child's, and that husband should do what he can live with. And I told husband that I love him for so many reasons, and especially for his faithfulness in the face of reason, even though it hurts sometimes. So d.c. is still here, and he's been sober for the week since he got home from his "job interview." He and I are polite but distant. He is dragging his feet on finding a job, but that is between him and husband. For right now I am just focusing on me and letting husband and Difficult Child work it through.