Update on my difficult child 1

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by janebrain, Jul 7, 2008.

  1. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi All,
    just thought I'd give an update on difficult child 1 who is out in Seattle. I talked with her quite awhile on the phone today. She is 5 months pregnant now and feeling much better--she had severe morning sickness for awhile and was hospitalized with dehydration at one point. She sounds really good and says she has a sense of well being, feels calmer in general I think.

    She is going to have to quit her job as an exotic dancer til after the baby comes--she says she will work about another week or so. She says she is wearing a one piece outfit that hides the pregnancy pretty well but that is about at an end.

    I asked if she and boyfriend are planning to get married and she said they might but things are going well between them and she is worried that will change if they marry. I think she is probably right and am glad she isn't going to marry him at this point. She says he is going to Alaska for 21 days to work on a fishing dock and will make $5000.00. I never know whether to believe her about these things but it's okay, I just go along. I could probably check with my easy child son who is out there living with them now.

    She is very excited about the baby and very interested in its growth and development from week to week. She said she and the boyfriend have had to talk and get things out in the open because of the baby so she thinks that is a good thing. She told him she wants the baby to have a good environment to grow up in and a happy childhood like she had. This was music to my ears, that she values the way she was brought up and doesn't want the baby to live in a chaotic environment like the boyfriend grew up in. Of course, we did have a more chaotic environment than I would have liked, but it was all due to her gfgness!

    She also realizes that this baby may be a real challenge since both she and the boyfriend were difficult children. Maybe having been one herself she will handle it better than I did. I know one thing--I don't think she will fall for any difficult child tricks, having done them all herself first!

    I am sort of excited about the baby. I think if I had one iota of like or respect for the boyfriend I would feel more excited. I don't know what I even want to do--I mean I don't really want to go out and visit her when the baby is born because of him. I can't stand the thought of having any contact with him at all. I guess I will just take it as it comes, see how I feel once the baby is born.

    At least I have some confidence that difficult child can be a good mom and that is a relief. I am trying to be more like Ponygirl and have a more positive attitude. I see that difficult child loves the baby and I do sense a calmness I've never sensed before--when we talked she didn't sound nearly so hyper like she usually does. She is eating well and enjoying the pregnancy now that she doesn't feel so sick.

    Thanks for reading through this, friends!

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    That's great Jane. Hopefully boyfriend will step up to the plate and be a man. Miracles can happen. difficult child sounds like she is in a good place emotionally. My only grandson just turned 2. He is a joy to have around. I can't certainly testify that having a grandchild is the reward for the years spent parenting. His father is my oldest son, a easy child, but as easy child's go he has had his share of issues. He has turned into a wonderful, loving, caring father. A mom can't ask for much more than that.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader


    It was so wonderful to read your post this morning. I'm so happy that you can sense the calm within your daughter and that despite your dislike of her boyfriend, you can be happy for her.

    It doesn't even matter if the 21 day stint up in ALaska is real or not - your daughter sounds like she is in a good place all around. It's amazing what a bunch of mommy hormones can do! I swear it.

    Nice update. Thanks for posting it. I needed to hear it this morning.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I see planning, and thinking, talking, discussions and logic and future and goals and what was that about wanting to be brought up like she was???? OMG this is fantastic! i AM SUCH A PROUD AUNTIE RIGHT NOW!

    WOW!!! (OMG what a payday that had to be!)

    As far as boyfriend - yeah I get that. But still - YOU are the GRANDMA!
  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Nice update, and congrats on the upcoming grandmotherhood.
  6. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    You guys are so encouraging--thanks so much! I see that I am afraid to hope things are okay and will be okay. You guys point out that there is actually good news, that it is possible difficult child might do all right. I really appreciate it. I don't get the same reactions from friends and family--everyone just points out how this baby has no chance with parents like difficult child and her boyfriend and they just keep expecting the same from difficult child, like she can't really change. It is discouraging sometimes. My mother in law (the kids' grandma--my deceased husband's mom) is a wonderful woman who I feel very close to but she never even asks about difficult child, only the other 2 kids. I tell her about difficult child anyway but she doesn't really respond. At least my own mom asks about her--she and difficult child have always been close and she loves her despite all the gfgness.

    So, thanks for all the congrats and happy thoughts, I love you guys!

  7. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now


    It sounds like your difficult child is doing well and said some very positive things during your conversation.

    As for the boyfriend (my difficult child boyfriend is one I truly could care less to be around), but I want to be a part of my grandson's life, so I just nod and smile when he is around.
  8. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Wow...what a wonderful update! I've said it before...there have been more than one CD kid that having a baby has changed their lives. All of a sudden they realize THEY are not the center of the universe.

    Yes, you should go see your daughter when the baby comes, even if it's only for a few days. It would probably mean so much to her. A great bonding time. Just tolerate boyfriend if you can. She and you will cherish those days in the end. And then all us aunties will get to see photos!!!