greenrene
Member
Trying not write a novel here. For those who don't remember...
After getting to the end of our rope with difficult child, we sent her to a TBS last spring (2013). FINALLY I had some respite, I began to see a wonderful therapist, and I was getting my life back.
Also, last fall, I had a baby. He is now 11 months old and a complete joy.
Anyway, the TBS was very $$$$, but it was a godsend. difficult child was finally getting the help she needed. Then, after several months had passed, my husband and mother in law got it into their heads that the TBS was money-gouging. difficult child's issues were/are so severe that she was slow to progress in the program, and her projected graduation date meant that she would be staying at the TBS longer than the typical stay. This was not at all surprising to me, as I'm very well aware how difficult child is.
Well, once husband and mother in law made it all about the $$$$, it was all downhill from there. They distrusted every suggestion for testing and educational opportunities that the TBS had, seeing it as the school trying to "sell" something.
So, without discussing anything with me, asking my opinion, or anything to that end, husband and mother in law decided to withdraw difficult child from the TBS this past June. I was/am very angry because, although I had no say in this whatsoever, this decision turned MY life upside down - I'm the main caregiver, husband works and isn't around much, and mother in law has chosen to be at her vacation home rather than here to support difficult child in her transition home.
My only hope is that difficult child is enrolled in another boarding school that is in-state - a school for kids with learning issues. However, it doesn't have anywhere near the structure and therapeutic environment that difficult child desperately needs. That and, the school is predominantly male. Hardly a good place to send an immature, boy-crazy, attention-seeking, vulnerable, pretty girl who also happens to have a size DDD chest!
Since being home, difficult child has already lost her phone, computer, and Kindle Fire for inappropriate texting/celebrity obsession. Many if not most of her old issues are coming to the forefront, and I'm just counting down the days until she's out of my hair again.
The one big difference is that I can tell she's making a big effort to get along with me. I do appreciate that. But in other ways, it's like she's learned nothing.
I still don't think we have an accurate diagnosis, nor do I think she's on the right medications. That was something I'd hoped would be helped at the TBS.
I'm planning to be more involved in her stay at this new school because I feel like this is our very last shot at getting her help. I've grown and healed a lot in therapy, and I feel strong enough to do this. I know if I leave everything up to husband, nothing will get done.
Anyway, there's a lot more, and I can share more later if anyone's interested. Right now the baby is sleeping, and my house is a wreck!
After getting to the end of our rope with difficult child, we sent her to a TBS last spring (2013). FINALLY I had some respite, I began to see a wonderful therapist, and I was getting my life back.
Also, last fall, I had a baby. He is now 11 months old and a complete joy.
Anyway, the TBS was very $$$$, but it was a godsend. difficult child was finally getting the help she needed. Then, after several months had passed, my husband and mother in law got it into their heads that the TBS was money-gouging. difficult child's issues were/are so severe that she was slow to progress in the program, and her projected graduation date meant that she would be staying at the TBS longer than the typical stay. This was not at all surprising to me, as I'm very well aware how difficult child is.
Well, once husband and mother in law made it all about the $$$$, it was all downhill from there. They distrusted every suggestion for testing and educational opportunities that the TBS had, seeing it as the school trying to "sell" something.
So, without discussing anything with me, asking my opinion, or anything to that end, husband and mother in law decided to withdraw difficult child from the TBS this past June. I was/am very angry because, although I had no say in this whatsoever, this decision turned MY life upside down - I'm the main caregiver, husband works and isn't around much, and mother in law has chosen to be at her vacation home rather than here to support difficult child in her transition home.
My only hope is that difficult child is enrolled in another boarding school that is in-state - a school for kids with learning issues. However, it doesn't have anywhere near the structure and therapeutic environment that difficult child desperately needs. That and, the school is predominantly male. Hardly a good place to send an immature, boy-crazy, attention-seeking, vulnerable, pretty girl who also happens to have a size DDD chest!
Since being home, difficult child has already lost her phone, computer, and Kindle Fire for inappropriate texting/celebrity obsession. Many if not most of her old issues are coming to the forefront, and I'm just counting down the days until she's out of my hair again.
The one big difference is that I can tell she's making a big effort to get along with me. I do appreciate that. But in other ways, it's like she's learned nothing.
I still don't think we have an accurate diagnosis, nor do I think she's on the right medications. That was something I'd hoped would be helped at the TBS.
I'm planning to be more involved in her stay at this new school because I feel like this is our very last shot at getting her help. I've grown and healed a lot in therapy, and I feel strong enough to do this. I know if I leave everything up to husband, nothing will get done.
Anyway, there's a lot more, and I can share more later if anyone's interested. Right now the baby is sleeping, and my house is a wreck!
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