Update: R is at therapeutic wilderness

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sushideluxe, May 31, 2018.

  1. sushideluxe

    sushideluxe New Member

    The transport yesterday morning went very smoothly. R left the house with the two "interventionists" quietly and easily. They texted me throughout the day to let me know they had boarded the plane and landed, and they called after they turned him over to the program staff. Then I talked to the program staff and learned he had been calm and cooperative with them although he seemed a little nervous but trying to hide it. He made it to the group in the afternoon. The therapist was in the field yesterday and had a chance to observe him, and hopefully we will get to talk to her today. I can't imagine what last night must have been like for him as he realized exactly how far away from civilization (and wifi) he was.

    I realized this morning that this past year and a half we have been living like frogs in a pot of water that was slowly heating up. His negative behaviors didn't happen all at once but rather have been building slowly over time. It took us a while to realize that the water was boiling!!! Fortunately, something happened that gave me enough of a shock that we were able to jump out of the pot.

    R's drug screen yesterday was negative, which is great news! It doesn't mean he hasn't done drugs, but if he has, it hasn't been in a while or in large quantities.

    Meanwhile, back home, our daughter E had a tough morning but after talking with me and seeing her therapist, she has processed the decision and seems OK with it. I took her over to the park yesterday to show her something. A robin has built a nest very low and close to the walking path. I have been watching her sit on the nest for a few weeks and yesterday I saw there were two baby birds and I watched her feed them a worm. So I brought E over and showed her the babies and told her I identified with the robin, because she has two baby birds to feed and love. She can do the best she can for them, but sometimes one of the baby birds needs more help than she can give him at home in the nest. E totally got it and I think the metaphor helped her process some of her feelings. We also talked about how like me, she might feel relief that R is gone and guilt that she feels relieved.

    I really didn't get emotional yesterday until I was ordering dinner (I wasn't up to cooking). Just looking at the menu made me think about what R would order and suddenly I teared up. It was actually a bit of relief.

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  2. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Sounds good so far, Sushi! Please keep us posted as to how your family is doing.
  3. JRC

    JRC Active Member

    Oh boy. Big, big hugs for you. This is hard stuff. (((hugs)))
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    I'm glad that he is getting help and cooperating. How long will he be there?

    I think now that you have some peace the stress of the past 1.5 years will hit. That is normal.

    I remember when we sent my son away and I was in the grocery store and similar to what you mentioned, I kept seeing his favorite foods. I was a mess by the time I got to the checkout line.

    I love your bird analogy!

    Keep us posted.
  5. Baggy Bags

    Baggy Bags Active Member

    Hugs, Sushi!

    I know the feeling - relief and the tsunami of sadness that comes with it.

    I hope that the program is helpful and rehabilitative for your son, and that he is able to reflect and grow while he is there.