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New Member
Hi Everyone...HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's been over a month since I've visited with all of you and a lot has gone on. My daughter has had 4 weeks and counting of pretty decent behavior. Two of those were at school. We hope she's turned a corner with her therapy and has finally decided to move on with her life a little bit.
The holidays were nice but still difficult emotionally for me. I still have mixed feelings about our son and losing him. For me it was like he died. (A quick recap: he tried to rape our daughter and it was violent. I caught the tail end of it. We were left to deal with getting him out our home even though he was arrested that night. We relinquished custody in October 2008. It was awful.) Shortly after relinquishment we had gotten some phone calls one evening over and over from the local jail but we wouldn't accept the charges. It's happened before but never that many times in a row in one night. I had a gut feeling about it but we never heard anything else. Then around December 18th I get a phone call from an atty that they were assigned his case. She didn't know we no longer had custody and after I informed her of this claimed she had no other contact info. (Pathetic system.) I offered to give her whatever info. I could that she needed but she never told me what he did. Anyway, I was sick to my stomach realizing that he had been in juvenile all this time (she confirmed he had been in quite awhile) and that it WAS probably him that had been calling that night in October.
We used to warn him over and over when he lived with us and had molested some other children and was shoplifting like crazy among other things that he was going to end up in jail one day and have no one to come bail him out. I never dreamed that it would really happen. I feel bad. Many days during the holidays I was very sad thinking about him and wondering how he was dealing with being alone in juvenile. Did his atty visit him? Did his case worker? He asked for relinquishment from us which finally brought our case to a close in October...does he regret it?
Anyway, I pretty much keep my feelings and thoughts to myself because I don't want my husband or daughter to be down about it too. Also, I don't want to be a downer and I am still feeling judged by others over all of this. Many don't even know where he is or what happened at all. Thankfully, some people are gracious enough not to ask.
Thanks for "listening". I really needed to get this off my chest.
By the way, since last time I posted, I have learned that he most probably had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I didn't even know what was until recently. My daughter even has a few symptoms of attachment disorder but they are nothing compared to what he put us through. Hers are more bizarre, self-sabotaging behaviors. She has been able to control them at times. His behaviors always targeted others and he was never under control...or was doing something under-handed.
It's been over a month since I've visited with all of you and a lot has gone on. My daughter has had 4 weeks and counting of pretty decent behavior. Two of those were at school. We hope she's turned a corner with her therapy and has finally decided to move on with her life a little bit.
The holidays were nice but still difficult emotionally for me. I still have mixed feelings about our son and losing him. For me it was like he died. (A quick recap: he tried to rape our daughter and it was violent. I caught the tail end of it. We were left to deal with getting him out our home even though he was arrested that night. We relinquished custody in October 2008. It was awful.) Shortly after relinquishment we had gotten some phone calls one evening over and over from the local jail but we wouldn't accept the charges. It's happened before but never that many times in a row in one night. I had a gut feeling about it but we never heard anything else. Then around December 18th I get a phone call from an atty that they were assigned his case. She didn't know we no longer had custody and after I informed her of this claimed she had no other contact info. (Pathetic system.) I offered to give her whatever info. I could that she needed but she never told me what he did. Anyway, I was sick to my stomach realizing that he had been in juvenile all this time (she confirmed he had been in quite awhile) and that it WAS probably him that had been calling that night in October.
We used to warn him over and over when he lived with us and had molested some other children and was shoplifting like crazy among other things that he was going to end up in jail one day and have no one to come bail him out. I never dreamed that it would really happen. I feel bad. Many days during the holidays I was very sad thinking about him and wondering how he was dealing with being alone in juvenile. Did his atty visit him? Did his case worker? He asked for relinquishment from us which finally brought our case to a close in October...does he regret it?
Anyway, I pretty much keep my feelings and thoughts to myself because I don't want my husband or daughter to be down about it too. Also, I don't want to be a downer and I am still feeling judged by others over all of this. Many don't even know where he is or what happened at all. Thankfully, some people are gracious enough not to ask.
Thanks for "listening". I really needed to get this off my chest.
By the way, since last time I posted, I have learned that he most probably had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I didn't even know what was until recently. My daughter even has a few symptoms of attachment disorder but they are nothing compared to what he put us through. Hers are more bizarre, self-sabotaging behaviors. She has been able to control them at times. His behaviors always targeted others and he was never under control...or was doing something under-handed.