Well, what a roller coaster ride its been. Son has been out of our home for 3 weeks , not smoking weed and things have not gone well. From what I can piece together, he became very depressed once he had to face that he was ALONE and didn't have weed to help him through. Not sure why but guessing he knew he couldn't afford to be on his own and support the weed habit. But, he got hold of some whiskey and other hard liquor and pain pills and went on a binge. Staying up all night, acting very agitated when we talked, super jittery, etc. I was very concerned but did not know he was drinking or taking pills. My stomach knots up every time, I relive this. Things came to a head when his boss called and wanted me to know that he was very worried about our son and that he was calling out sick from work more and more often. That he was pushing son to get medical help for his depression and anxiety. Turns out he had confided in his boss and this wonderful man was on a mission to help him. He spent the next day, convincing son again to get help and to pick up the phone and call me. Fast forward and son has asked me to get him into dr and is now 5 days into new medication. He spent an hour and a half on the phone with me today, confiding in me an mind blowing amount of information about hitting rock bottom and how he wants so much more for himself. That he knows he has damaged his mind and body but he is ready to make changes .That he has realized that all the things he did to numb himself were either not working or causing him more and more pain. The one thing that stood out to me was he said, after working all day I am just alone with no one to be with. I have pushed everyone good away. He then told me he deleted from his phone and social media anyone who he could buy weed from. That he has done everything he can think of to put huge distance between him and his vices. I have so many thoughts swirling through my head. I am sick that he was so bad off and I didn't know. The what ifs are huge. I am without words for the step that his boss took to reach out and help. That he cared enough for this struggling young man to DO something. I am terrified that he will snap back to his old ways and just give up on himself again. Yet, I am also hopeful because he has never admitted so many things to me and he has never asked for help. He has always gone kicking and screaming and blaming. Praying that he is for real and that he will stick with it. For now, we have not discussed what next other than waiting as he adjusts to these new medications for anxiety/depression. He is still not home but calls often and for the first time in a very long time, I can tell he is sober.