Updated - Asking for depression medications for...

[witzend]

husband. How do I do this? We have been seeing a counselor on and off (on lately) for several years. His moodiness is just about more than I can take anymore. We see the therapist tomorrow and I want to ask that he recommends to husband's regular doctor that husband start taking something to cheer him up. Has anyone had to do this before?

All he wants to do is sleep and play computer games. He has a bad back and his cholesterol is way high. I can't get him to eat right, all he wants is greasy processed foods and sandwiches with tons of processed meat and 1/4 cup of mayo per sandwich. Lettuce? Fuggetaboudit!"

He joined the gym after we talked and talked about it for months. It was both to lose weight and to make his back stronger. Every time we have a projectg - we have a 30 year old home, we have projects! - he can't carry on because his back hurts. Well, he's belonged to the gym for five months now, and he has not brought home his work-out clothes to be washed in over three months. Believe me when I say, this man would not wear a jock more than once without sanitizing it. He hasn't lost a pound or built up one muscle but he swears he works out 3 times a week. Am I really supposed to be that stupid? And of course anything we do kills his back. Hello! I have muscular dystrophy, and I have to keep going because if I don't he can't get anything done or he skimps on the whole job to get it done and over with. I'm stoned on vicadin every weekend just to keep him on task and I'm sick of it!

He pouts. He snaps at me. His triglycerides were at 438 last week, and last year they were only at 375, which was bad enough. Who exactly does he think is going to take care of him if he has a stroke? This is not the man I married. Maybe it is and it's just more noticeable because it's just the two of us, but I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy my time with someone who resents me.

 

[DammitJanet]

Witz...Do you guys go to the same family doctor? If so maybe you can have a word of prayer with him. If not, then talking to the therapist and asking them to send a message to the family doctor would be the way to go.

Those physical symptoms are scary too. Sounds like he needs a full physical to get on some cholesterol medications.

I am sure this is irritating. Good luck.

 

[Stella Johnson]

I hope you can get the reg doctor to rx something. Really sounds like it is needed.

Steph

 

[crazymama30]

I hope you can get an Rx, and that your husband will be in agreement and take them.

 

[flutterbee]

Depression is just as much a risk factor for heart disease as high cholesterol and smoking. So depression, age, high cholesterol and not exercising...all risk factors. Would your therapist be willing to broach the subject with husband? Then the therapist could send info to husband's doctor.

 

[busywend]

How did it go?

 

[witzend]

Well, the session went about as I expected it. husband's MO is avoidance in the extreme. He is fairly comfortable with the thought that if he doesn't do anything that things will just stay as they are and he can ignore it.

We talked a long time about his avoidance of making any changes - let alone positive ones - in his life, and brought up the subject of depression. He avoided it. He just kept saying "I don't know what I could do to make things better." I told him that in this case, if he doesn't make some changes, that I will love him less than I could, because he's not changing his lifestyle and outlook. I told him that I thought he was trying, but that the was struggling and I thought that it might be too much for him to do without some pharmaceutical help. Talk therapy isn't working. He doesn't seem to have self motivation. The therapist agreed, but said that we needed to talk together amongst ourselves to see if this is the best course of action. I know husband will just avoid it.

Unfortunately, we could not get another appointment until June 18th! We'll see. I feel really out of my league when it comes to getting him to try anything new healthwise.

 

[Abbey]

Unfortunately, if you're knee deep in depression...and see all the things that *could* make you better, you simply don't care.

I wish I had answers.

Abbey

 

[KFld]

It took me and a good friend of husband's quite awhile a few years back, to get him to realize he would suffer from either depression or anxiety every winter. He is a landscaper and would be terrible all winter long to the point where I absoluteley dreaded winter coming. He now takes effexor and what a huge difference. The past few winters have been wonderful!!

I basically ended up telling my husband that I couldn't deal with one more winter of his moods and he either needed to do something, or I was outta here, and he went. It took trying a few different medications to get one that worked well for him, but the effexor works really well.

 

[Sunlight]

depression can really hurt families. my ex refused all help, talk therapy and medications. he takes remeron now..it is a condition of his getting disability money that he see a psychiatrist, so he has no choice.

I hope your hubby wants help. it is there if he wants it.