So about a year and a half ago, when my son was relatively stable, we planned a trip to Jamaica for this May. My newly divorced brother is going with us, we are renting a house in a secluded area. It's all my 17 year old daughter talks about. Everything is paid for and nonrefundable unless it's covered under travel insurance. This location was decided upon with input from my son, and he was very interested in going. We scheduled it around his school calendar, which is now a mute point. Obviously, my son cannot go with us. We kicked him out almost 2 months ago but he does not have a stable environment. He shows up at our house often to wreak havoc or just to get something/drop something off, you can never till which. I am wracked with anxiety about where he will be staying, if he calls us frantic, or if something horrible happens to him. I'm also feeling very sad that he is giving this dream vacation up for this lifestyle he has chosen. Normally, this is when I kick in to mid gear, start making sure we have all clothing necessary and start researching and planning excursions. I'm having a hard time getting excited about this even though I need it more than anything. I suppose it's a good thing this is a relaxing type of vacation, because we may have nothing to wear and nothing planned to do. I know this is very much a 'first world problem', but if anyone else has been here or if there are any words of encouragement to help me get on that plane I'd very much appreciate it right now!