Vent.....people next door

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Hanging-On, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    What's your thoughts on this. Sunday my boys were outside, playing on <u> </u> our <u> </u> land, but over by the neighbors house (which is right next to the property line although they own about 20 acres or more...same as me) when they wanted to see if the little boy (same age as difficult child) would like to play. Well the ONLY way they could ask is to ask him "through" the wire fence, because the two ladies and their son have told me that we are NEVER allowed to go through the gate up to the house because of their dogs. (Ok, that makes sense to problem). Well how are two little boys suppose to ask the kid next door to play, if it's not through the fence? Well, the two ladies next door called me and said the following, "your sons are at the fence trying to get our son to play with them. He played with them (through the fence, mind you) yesterday because he wanted to. Today he doesn't want to play, and we don't like them LOOKING at our house through the fence (which is "wire"). So please tell your boys not to come over to the fence because it's a privacy issue. And if they want to play with our son, you can call and make an "appointment"." WT????

    I went and got my sons, and told them to not go back over there. BUT here's the thing.....they were on OUR LAND!!!! I've nicely accomidated these two women a couple of times, with their bizzare wants. But no more. My first taste with them was when they said something to me when I was drilling my well. They walked over and asked where my house was going, because they didn't want to see it. And they didn't want me to block there view of the mountain. Now blocking the mountain view, I can understand that....but to make my house invisible...what? They also have taken out every bit of trees or bushes by that fence to allow them to have this mountain view, AND that side of their house is ALL glass.

    Well the next time I hear anything about my kids, playing on my own land is bothering these two women I'm going to tell them to either put up a privacy fence, or at least some curtains.

    Geeeeeeze, I DON'T NEED THIS TYPE OF CRAP, in addition to everything we're going through. I've told my boys that they are NEVER allowed to play with this kid. Something is definitely weird (above and beyond their alternative lifestyle) about that family, and my boys don't need to be around it.

    Just needed to vent...feel better now.
  2. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Nowwwwwwwwwwwwww, I remember why I have no neighbors.

    What I would do in this case is have my kids write a note to the neighbor kid, including their phone number. If the neighbor kid wants to play, he can call.

    People in the country/mountains are different kind of people. I say that because that's where we live. I have a horse farm "behind" me, about 7 acres away to the rear, but the house is so far away you can't see it. I have nobody across the road from me, and the next closest house is about 1/4 mile down the road.

    I know if this was my SO and someone was building in our "view" he'd be ticked. LOL! I'd be so grateful for human contact, but not him. It would be an inconvenience. He just doesn't like people.

    Very unfortunate, but what can you do? Just try to keep the kids away from them. Maybe you can get some stuff for the other side of the yard and keep the kids there (trampoline, maybe?).

  3. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I think maybe I'd be be suggesting a fence, too. I don't see how they think they can control your boys playing at the fence on their own property, though. That sounds a little over the top to me.
  4. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Thanks Janna. It sounds like you know where I'm coming from. I actually feel that 20 acres isn't enough space for me and my boys. I'd like alot ALOT more. I prefer to not have my house seen, but better yet, I'd prefer that NO ONE can hear us. The boys are very loud when they are playing, and even louder when someone gets angry or hurt. I always cringe that the neighbors can hear us, and that we are being secretively hated for all the noise.

    And I agree with your SO. If someone built something that blocked my view, I'd be pissed. BUT I actually placed my house so I wouldn't be blocking a view, and as to hide it some but give me the southern exposure for passive solar.

    I just think telling me that my boys can't play on that side is too much. But that's me. And what ever happened to running next door and asking Johnny to play hide and seek? This generation is now appointment only?? Weird!!!

    How many acres do you have?
  5. Janna

    Janna New Member

    I have 5, but we are on a curve on the road, so there's nobody on either side of us. Across the road from me is 109 acres where that farmer grows field corn, so there's nobody there either.

    There's nobody on 3 sides of me, then the horse farm behind me, but that's so far away, they don't hear anything either.

    We chose that location because of that. ALL my kids have very loud voices. They don't know indoor voice. I know how you feel - yes it's your land, but you have that paranoia. "Oh man, can they hear my kids yelling"? "Oh gosh, are my kids bothering them - making too much noise - "? whatever. been there done that.

    Okay, so no, maybe it's not *fair* to make the kids use the other side, BUT, it would keep them away from neighbor kid. Now that spring is coming, maybe you can get some yard stuff? We have tons of junk in the yard. Huge trampoline. Blow up pool in the summer. Baseballs, basketballs, footballs, golf stuff. We're building a treehouse this spring, and making a sand box. If you can get the kids to occupy themselves with other stuff, it would keep them away from the fence.

    Sidewalk paint (sell it at Wal Mart, cheap), my kids go out, find rocks and stuff, paint them. Send em out to the trees, let them make their own little treehouse with stuff from the woods (rocks, sticks, etc). If you can get them set up with stuff to do on their own, then maybe it will distract them.

    As for making dates, well, yeah. I haven't had play dates for my kids yet. I know Dylan would like to maybe have a friend over, but he hasn't taken that step yet. easy child wants his "girlfriend" over, but I know he'd bore her to death with all his "hunting" junk LOL!

  6. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Thanks Loris. I was wondering if anyone else saw this weird, and unrealistic.
  7. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Janna, you make a good point. I would prefer them to be on this side, by the house. I can see (and HEAR) them, and know they're ok. Plus, my horses are going over on that side....LOL! When I have the money, I'm going to put up the horse pen and lien-to's over on that side. (right now the horses are with a friend who's taking care of them for me until I can get the horse fence up...thank g-d for her right now. Or they'd be starving.)

    Anyway, if these two women don't like the kids over there playing, just wait until the horses come. I'm quietly laughing at this situation cuz if they are so picky then they're going to hate it when the horses move in on that side of the the manure
    Gotta love karma!!
  8. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    I try to be a nice neighbor, but this kind of thing makes me go - :nonono: you're telling ME what to do on MY property? I don't think so. I was going to suggest planting a nice flowering climbing plant along the fence, which would provice some privacy, who cares if it blocks their view. But a nice horse corral and lean to is MUCH better. :devil: Love horses, my dad had trail horses.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Doesn't sound like a fun situation. They certainly can't tell your boys not to play on your property. It might be a good idea to keep a distance from their child.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    You know what comes from those lean-to's for horses, don't you? MICE!!! :biggrin: Won't the neighbor ladies love that! :mad: :mad:

    My brother used to live in a very nice neighborhood where each lot was 5 acres with nothing but big fields in the back. Everyones lot was fenced, the homes were all very nice and the neighbors all got along fine. But the people next door to him had several horses and their little barn-type shelter was right on the fence line. It was far away enough from my brothers house that it didn't cause a problem and he didn't care, but that little barn was just full of mice that got into the horses feed. When he'd run his lawn mower along the fence line on that side of his yard, the mice would scatter like cockroaches!

    Your neighbors do sound more than a little "odd"! If I were you, I'd let my kids play in your yard where ever they darned well wanted to! It's YOUR property! And as for the noise, that's what kids are supposed to do! That's why God made yards! I suppose the neighbors child plays silently???
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I have a really good idea - plant a screen. Not too high, of course. You don't want to be accused of malice. But a wind-break would be really good. I could recommend some plants but that's for Australian conditions. Of course, it might be enough to cut back on their view of the mountain, but if you plant on YOUR side of the fence... besides, if they're alternative lifestyle people they shouldn't object to your trying to do something good for the environment, after they took out all those trees and bushes...

    A good plant screen (thick, rather than tall) is also a good sound barrier. If you grow something to, say, 2 metres and keep it clipped (or plant something that won't grow any higher) then you'll have a visual AND a sound barrier. You'll need something that won't be a problem with the horses.

    Alternatively, you could erect a bamboo (or similar) screen. After all, these women have asked you VERY nicely to stop your boys from LOOKING at their house. This is what you're doing to stop them, right? The boys need their space to play, you don't want all that good land not being used by the boys.

    And if the women object and say, "But we didn't mean THIS," then quote Robert Frost at them. "Good fences make good neighbours."

    Do let me know if you want some suggestions for plants. Right now I'm thinking, Murraya. It smells lovely (an orange-blossom perfume), it grows quickly but not too high, it's lush and green and I THINK it is also moderately cold-tolerant. If you have more cold in your areas, maybe various types of pine. We visited a hedge maze in Victoria that often gets snow (and loves it) and it planted with lemon cypress. Smells wonderful, very thick and lush, grows three metres plus, so you'd need to clip it.

    But what you plant on your property is your business, right? And the prospective horses will need some shade plants there as well. Plus trees are great for climbing. I can recommend a really great eucalypt - the peppermint gum- as a fat-growing, GREAT climbing tree. The bark is really pretty and it's smooth, not rough, so the kids don't get scraped feet. But not on the fence line, though. Oh, it might block a view...

  12. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Donna, love your answer. "Odd", is a good word. I've tried several times to be friendly and neighborly. I've tried several times to "shoot the s*&t" with them, and they just come off very strange. I've started to wonder about their boy, cuz they home school him, and he's getting no exposure to the world. I've wondered if he is a difficult child, or has some condition that like our difficult child's. On one occassion (out of ear shot of one of his moms) he talked with language that I was offened at. Something about how his male organ was about to freeze off. (of course I changed the words to not so colorful) If it wasn't for me having a difficult child, I'd be shocked about a 7 yrs old saying that. But since then it has made me wonder. Anyway.....weird, odd anti-social, isolationist people.
  13. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Marguerite, I must be totally blind. I just blazed right over your post. It's interesting that you say that,cuz when they said they didn't want to see my house I asked if they meant they wanted me to plant some type of barrier. And they said "yes". So maybe I will. I'm up a mountain, but in the dessert. So water is short and precious. I'll have to see what's native around here. It's mostly dessert floor (fancy name for "dirt") around here, with lots of junipers and rocks. But I've seen other people with trees, flowers and other plants.
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    If THEY don't want to see your house, maybe THEY should plant a barrier! Or maybe they could just paint their windows black! :wink: Sheeeesh! Wonder if it has occurred to them that maybe YOU are equally offended by the sight of THEIR house?!? :mad:

    If they didn't want to be where other houses were visible, they should have bought up all the surrounding property so no one could build near them!
  15. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Donna, I thought the same thing. They should have the cost of planting something, or putting up a solid fence, not me. Or if they are so unhappy about someone moving next to them, they should have bought the land. It was on the market for about a year before I bought it, so they had amble time.
  16. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Hanging, sometimes it takes a hero to stand up and be the one to sort out the problem. I wouldn't stress about who gets to plant what, but just do some research. Who knows? Once you start planting, it will be interesting to see how they react. I strongly recommend you don't plant too many plants at once, just place them strategically, in line of sight between their windows and where the boys play. If you put in say five plants close together (maybe 1 metre apart, no more - maybe even less), the plants will actually look after each other in terms of forming a mini ecosystem, which should cut down on the need to water them. When you plant them, also plant an upside down plastic drink bottle with the bottom cut out. You use this to feed water direct to the roots so you can make sure the trees use every bit you give them and it doesn't just evaporate. It's what we do here to get around our drought problems. Mulch over the ground where you plant - in a desert area, maybe use a rock mulch. It cuts down on evaporation. if it's windy there, you may need to screen the plants with some hessian or shade cloth (on star pickets) until they are stable. It's all removable and usable somewhere else after the trees are stronger.
    Since you have junipers in your area (although I suspect they're low and scrubby) there may be other juniper species you could try planting there. But seriously - there are some great Aussie plants which would do well because they're USED to desert. But there has to be trees from your area which you might be able to simply transplant, instead of spending money. And the end result hopefully will be an attractive garden, windbreak and barrier to bad neighbours complaining.

    Our soil here is salty sand. The salt actually repels water so we often water it with detergent-laden waste from the bath or laundry, to break the surface tension. We also dose the soil with water-holding crystals to give the plants an added advantage. They're cheap and very useful.

    Sounds like your ground is a lot like ours (apart from the salt).

    I would be very interested to see how these neighbours react to your plantings. That's why I suggest to only do a few, in case they get narky about it and dig them up at night. I have a suspicious mind! because they really do sound like control freaks - they would love plants there, but only ones THEY say can be there.

    I hope I'm wrong.

  17. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Wow Marguerite, you know alot about alot of things. Thanks for all the information. I'll keep everyone update on the fence war.