feelingfrustrated
New Member
Please forgive me if I am long-winded about my current situation, but I am new to this forum and am seeking support, guidelines, ideas from all of you about how to handle what has now become an untenable situation. We have discovered that my husband's daughter (who returned home to live with us approximately 1 year ago) has been stealing from us. By way of background, she came back to us in order for us to help her to recover from drug addition and to give her a place to stay during her recovery. While there have been several instances in the past year when we have looked for an item we seldom use (spotting scope, an individual TENS-type unit, etc.), we could not locate the item. Did we misplace it? Maybe borrowed it to someone that didn't return it, but don't recall? You know, things you ask yourself when you can't find something. My stepdaughter would also take things without asking to use for herself, such as taking the flat screen I had in my workout area for working out to exercise videos, along with the DVD/VHS player, up to her room (which she did three times even after being told the first time that it wasn't acceptable) and telling her dad that the fan I was using in that area was hers, not mine, and that the fan she had in her room was actually mine (not true).
Within the past week my husband found that our commemorative quarter collections (we had four - one set for each daughter) is missing. The case is there, but the quarters are gone. He confronted his daughter who, of course, denied taking the quarters and casting suspicion on his younger daughter (who also resides with us) and my youngest daughter (who has not resided with us for over 10 years).
She then proceeded to tell her father that she was going to pack her stuff and that she had places where she could live with friends. She went into the basement and began to supposedly pack up her belongings that we had been storing down there. When I got home, my husband told me she had been working in the basement all afternoon. I even complimented her on how nice it looked. She was subdued when I got home, and later left with friends.
This weekend, when I was working in the basement, I noticed that one of the totes she had taped up and indicated contained her "misc. stuff" was actually a tote that belonged to me. Upon opening it, I discovered it contained property belonging to us. Blankets, luggage, winter clothing, etc. That prompted me to open up the boxes she had taped up, which contained my spare set of dishes, glasses, silverware, tupperware and even items from our pantry including homemade canned goods, etc. Keep in mind, all of these items were packed up in our basement while my husband was upstairs, in the house, performing miscellaneous chores and after he had already confronted her about stealing.
I know, and my husband knows, that we can no longer tolerate her residing in our home. We have changed the locks on our doors. However, she has not been home since before we discovered all this and we are trying to come up with a way to firmly tell her that she is no longer allowed to live in our house and that she is not welcome there unless we are home. Any suggestions?
Within the past week my husband found that our commemorative quarter collections (we had four - one set for each daughter) is missing. The case is there, but the quarters are gone. He confronted his daughter who, of course, denied taking the quarters and casting suspicion on his younger daughter (who also resides with us) and my youngest daughter (who has not resided with us for over 10 years).
She then proceeded to tell her father that she was going to pack her stuff and that she had places where she could live with friends. She went into the basement and began to supposedly pack up her belongings that we had been storing down there. When I got home, my husband told me she had been working in the basement all afternoon. I even complimented her on how nice it looked. She was subdued when I got home, and later left with friends.
This weekend, when I was working in the basement, I noticed that one of the totes she had taped up and indicated contained her "misc. stuff" was actually a tote that belonged to me. Upon opening it, I discovered it contained property belonging to us. Blankets, luggage, winter clothing, etc. That prompted me to open up the boxes she had taped up, which contained my spare set of dishes, glasses, silverware, tupperware and even items from our pantry including homemade canned goods, etc. Keep in mind, all of these items were packed up in our basement while my husband was upstairs, in the house, performing miscellaneous chores and after he had already confronted her about stealing.
I know, and my husband knows, that we can no longer tolerate her residing in our home. We have changed the locks on our doors. However, she has not been home since before we discovered all this and we are trying to come up with a way to firmly tell her that she is no longer allowed to live in our house and that she is not welcome there unless we are home. Any suggestions?