What more can i do!?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by faz1979, Oct 11, 2011.

  1. faz1979

    faz1979 New Member

    I'm a 35 single parent to a 12 year old daughter. She has suffered from General Anxiety Disorder for about 7 years on and off, this also manifests it'self in very bad and often violent behaviour. We are going through a particularly rough time at the moment, i have lost my job because she would not stay at the childminders after school and in the summer holidays, we were due to go abroad a month ago but she wouldn't get on the plane and, for the past 6 weeks she has refused to go to school.( i have had a formal warning from the LEA)

    We have had various help from the education authourity and a therapist but things are no better. Today i have had to remove her officially from school and begin home schooling, something which she desperately wanted.

    Thinking this was going to be answer..........how wrong could i be!!! Today she has become more agressive than ever, and has done very little school work. Perhaps this has been a huge mistake, as now she has got everything she wanted and is still not satisfied. i just want my lovely, caring, funny daughter back!

    I would love to hear from anyone who is or has been in a similar situation, as i feel at the end of my tether and really don't know where to turn now
    Many thanks
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi faz, sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. She doesn't sound too happy either. Could you give us a little bit more info like the general area you are from (dont identify things but it is clear it is not USA and there are several others on this board from other countries so they can give you more input on resources if they can relate to you.

    I can relate in these ways: I have a very aggressive child and it is so hard. I also can imagine if I tried to homeschool it would be a disaster. First, anything new never goes well until there is a routine....Second, there are way to many mommy and me issues to work on that would make me unable to help him well with school work. Last, I am not working outside of home due to his behaviors and challenges at and home.

    This is not an easy road. I just know you will get LOTS of support here, so please keep checking in.

  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome to the board.

    First, where are you located? Doesn't sound like the US. Don't have to be specific, a country is sufficient. If you are in the US, state is sufficient.

    Who diagnosed your daughter? Is she on any medication? When was her most recent evaluation?

    At 12, puberty is kicking in and there's no escaping it. This can make many problems worse.

    Others will be by with more questions and/or input.

    Welcome again. :notalone:
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Again, welcome...

    Has she ever had a comprehensive evaluation? i.e. someone looking at a broad range of potential issues, from developmental (ADHD, Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), etc.) to learning disabilities to other mental health issues plus whatever else?

    There are a number of possible scenarios, and its hard to start from the "end" (i.e. where you are now).
    Can you tell us more about her history?
    Natural, step or adopted child?
    Who does she live with?
    Family history of issues and challenges (on all sides)
    What was she like as a baby? toddler?
    How was her motor skills development? verbal? social?
    What was school like for the first year or two?
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. Well...I have always had terrible generalized anxiety disorder PLUS panic disorder...and it did not make me aggressive. I have never heard of anxiety disorder alone causing aggression. I would cry if I was frightened, and I did rage, but that was due to my childhood mood disorder. The anxiety made it hard for me to learn in a school setting because I was so nervous that I couldn't function beyond just hoping I could stay in my seat without screaming. A few times I DID scream and run out of the room and after that the k ids kindly referred to me as "Mental." There was no option of staying home from school back in the dinosaur years in which I went to school :)

    Where do you live? Options for help different depending on your country. Also, some countries do not diagnose certain disorders that we do here in the US. Maybe somebody else is from your country and can help you more than we can.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    difficult child 1 gets aggressive when his anxiety is up. He does it as a preemptive strike. Is she on any medications?