What to do!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Snowenne, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. Snowenne

    Snowenne New Member

    OK, so the few people who know my posts know that currently I am having an issue with my son pooing. When I told the pediatrician he didnt seem concerned told me what I could do (give the laxatives) did that, he still fought. Hes at a point where hes barely eating (and hes not a big eater to begin with) because he knows food turns into poo...He wont drink now because he thinks every single drink has laxatives in it. Took him to the only kids hospital here hoping that bringing him to the ER would do something...Once again they didnt seem overly concerned....They told me they see it in all kids even ones without Aspergers...Even when I told him hes not eating and wont drink thier response was eventually his body will tell him to drink...Yet hes telling me to give him this laxative 2x a day....I dont know what to do to help him. I dont know why it seems that no one believes me...Even when they did the xray of his tummy to see how much is in there, theres alot...but he said its not as much as I thought...My response to that, HES NOT EATING...Im so fed up with the systems here...What do I do now?
  2. Arlea

    Arlea New Member

    I am sorry, I hate it when dr's just think your just another paranoid parent. We know our kids best and if we think the concern is valid then it should be treated that way.
    Its very frustrating not get the answers you need. My daughter has a bowel issue as well and we use restoralax, it is NOT a laxative, it just keeps everything soft and regular. Guess that will only help if he drinks though. Your concerns are warranted. A child getting dehydrated is a HUGE concern.

    Unfortunatly I do not have any advice on how to get him to drink or eat except just giving him what he likes. When my son got dehydrated when he was little we gave him gatorade because it has electrolytes. It worked well!

    Sorry you having such a hard time. Sending support your way!
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    in my humble opinion I think you may need to just ignore the issue. Probably he is "focused" on your concern and the admonitions and it either is heightening his fears or may be seen as a power issue. I understand that you are concerned. At meal time I would try just saying cassually "I'm gtting to eat would you like to join me?" If the answer is no....just pretend he's not there and eat your meal. Probably I would try to think of things he particularly likes to eat or drink and without comment have them in the kitchen. Watermelon, for example, has lots of water content. Perhaps a favorite high fiber cereal?

    Kids pick up "signals" from their Mom and AS kids are particularly sensitive to the anxiety of their parent. I'm not a medical professional but I would guess that he's likely to be fine. Personally I like to write things down so perhaps (with-o his awareness) you could jot notes about his habit.Hugs DDD
  4. Snowenne

    Snowenne New Member

    I think i'm now more concerned over the fact that hes refusing to eat and drink...Even Mcdonalds last night on our way to the ER just sat beside him...Think he maybe ate 5 fries...He loves McDonalds (hence why I did that) Later on that night I got him a large chocolate milk because he loves it...drank only a bit...That was all he ate and drank yesterday....And like how many times are we going to go through this before it stops?
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    :consoling: Poor you, poor kid. Like was mentioned, just leave food out - even candy. Aspies can be stubborn, and it's not regular stubbornness, it's the kind that wins prizes.

    I'm hoping it comes out soon, once it does, he may feel comfortable eating again. If so, you'll be able to hide medicine again. Use either the miralax (if available in Canada) or the restoralax which Arlea mentioned. They'll help keep the poo soft enough so it can NOT be held in. Then, all you can do is try to figure out what thought is stuck in his head. Once you understand his thought process, can you try to teach him the correct thinking process.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    There's no way you or anyone else can make him eat or drink. He's in the driver's seat on this issue. At some point he will poop, eat and drink again. Obviously it's a cause of concern but even if you try enticing him it will be focusing on "the issue" and probably slow down the natural consequences of his choices. The more conversations you have the more likely, in my humble opinion, he is to continue his choices. I am sending a caring hug your way. DDD
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Are you keeping a journal or diary of what is going on? If so, turn it into a one page document with graphics. Maybe copy it onto a calendar that has one page or type it into a format that has blocks or a spreadsheet so the doctor can see many a month or so at one time, not just 'my kid didn't eat today and hasn't pooped this week" thing.

    In the meantime, cook foods he really likes and ignore him not eating as much as you can. Not for long, for a few days. You are going to have to take him into the doctor/ER quite a few times on this. Maybe take him every few days with that list all n one page but updated to be current when you take him. If he gets to the point where he is in serious pain, be sure to take him then. What happens if you refuse to leave until they do something? WOuld that work? You will have to take a book, drink and snacks (for you even if difficult child won't eat or drink) and a jacket if the waiting area/treatment rooms are cold. Take little for difficult child to do. Make him go find a doctor or staff member to bother - push him to tell them how much it hurts over and over if he is in pain. Just do NOT leave, esp if they get you into a treatment area.

    The thing the docs are not listening to is that he is ignoring his body and is refusing to do these things. My daughter did miralax three tiems a day for several weeks and her obstruction did not clear. But hers had been building for months and most of her stool was eliminating past the blockage. the doctor didn't believe me and was going to send me home until J had a huge poop in the doctor's bathroom and I refused to let her leave until the doctor came in and saw it. No one could believe that that much could come out and she could still be blocked, but it was what had been happening for over a week at home. They did a second xray because the doctor thought the blockage would have been gone and it wasn't so we headed to the hospital for that milk and molasses enema.

    I am sure the milk and molasses thing is NOT something down everywhere. It was a home remedy from an older doctor's mom and is used in our local hospital quite a lot for this problem. It CAN safely be done at home. But you would have to force your son and it owuld not work to do that.

    Mostly you need to become a reporter on htis issue. Tell the docs what is going on, make sure that when difficult child is out of his mind in pain and refusing to go that the docs see him and leave it for a week or two. If you see a psychiatrist for the aspergers, call them and let them also know what is going on. They may be able to help or send you to a gastro doctor. Sooner or later something will give. either difficult child will start pooing and eating (either one will stimulate the other) or he is going to go for another two weeks and he will be so sick and weak that he will end up in the hospital on forced enemas and a feeding tube. NOT fun but you have done all you can but keep records.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Ask the doctor to monitor his weight. If he's getting weighed by the doctor every visit, then the not eating/drinking will soon show up as weight loss. And he should not be losing weight at his age.

    When difficult child 3 stopped taking risperdal, he lost weight. not a lot, but enough to worry the pediatrician. Because we had stopped the risperdal, the doctor did nothing more than order blood tests. But if the risperdal had not been a possible factor, he would have done a lot more. And difficult child 3 didn't have a poo problem or eating problem like your son.

    Monitor quietly, diarise, but try to be more discreet about it if you can. Because what is happening right now - every time you take him to the doctor, and the doctor says don't worry, it is actually validating your son's approach. It's like the doctor is telling your son that it's ok to not eat or drink, it's ok to not poo.

  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree, just leave the food out and try not to harp on it. I make our son sit at the dinner table with-us even if he doesn't want to eat (mostly for the socialization aspect) and 70% of the time, he'll eat something, because he's forgotten that he's not hungry, and it smells good ... lol!
    Strangely enough, I have the same issue with-my cousin, who is 83. She has bladder and bowel issues and hates to drink fluids because then she has to go to the bathroom. She has to have fluids ... everyone does ... and she is so averse to pain, that I tell her that if she doesn't eat and drink, the pain medications won't work. That usually works.
    But I don't know what your son's trigger is.
    So sorry!
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    This is such a hard issue. I understand your concern and Poo on the doctors that don't see how you are struggling with the issue. That said, it does sound like you are in a bit of a power struggle. Aspies are hard nuts to crack so I would do as suggested and just back off. And I know this is going to sound horrid nutritionally but just feed him 3-4 Chocolate Chip cookies every day. Something in those things works really well at keeping my family regular. I do not know too many people that don't like them either. Once he starts going regularly and it doesn't hurt I think the issue will go away. Keep up the stool softeners (discretely) so it isn't one huge mass that tears him when he passes it. -RM
  11. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Are none of them worried about dehydration?