What's the strangest thing...

[mstang67chic]

...you've found in an odd place because of your difficult child? I was thinking about this yesterday as I was searching for the tote containing all of my hair/bathroom supplies. Turned out husband put it in our room but not in it's normal place so I had a heck of a time finding it. During the search though, I came across my tin of cocoa stashed in the least used cabinet of the bathroom.

I'm thinking he thought it would be chocolatey and stashed it to eat. I hope he put a big spoonful in his mouth before he realized what it was.

How about you?

 

[Hound dog]

I'm thinking he thought it would be chocolatey and stashed it to eat. I hope he put a big spoonful in his mouth before he realized what it was.

husband's playboys hidden under Travis' mattress when we were getting his new bed delivered. The boy was oh.......about 10 at the time. Delivery guys nearly died laughing.........once they saw that I found it hillarious. We put them under the mattress of the new bed..........Took Travis a long time to figure out we were "on" to his stash.

The bottle of vanilla flavoring Travis hid in his room to sneak later. I left it there................He told on himself when he came out wretching and asking me how something that smelled sooooo good could taste so foul. LOL

I'm only on my first cup of coffee.........or I could go on and on. That boy stashed some of the weirdest things all over the house. lol

 

[DammitJanet]

The oddest?

Ok...this could take a while. Does finding your tub covered in vasoline count?

Or finding the dishwashing liquid in Corys room count?

Or...I know...this one takes the cake. I found an empty bottle of MY flavored motion lotion (ok, Im allowed to be kinky!) in Corys room in his closet...empty. He had eaten it because it was strawberry watermelon flavored! LOL.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Janet, I just nearly spit out my coffee HAHAHAH.

You KNOW I'm wondering why your tub was covered in vaseline. The motion lotion only further prompted curiousity!

I once found my missing sanitary napkins in difficult child's closet. What did a 11 year old boy want with them???

 

[Hound dog]

Or...I know...this one takes the cake. I found an empty bottle of MY flavored motion lotion (ok, Im allowed to be kinky!) in Corys room in his closet...empty. He had eaten it because it was strawberry watermelon flavored! LOL.

OMG Janet that one needed a warning. I spewed my coffee!!

 

[donna723]

The worst mine ever did was to try to eat a big chunk of unsweetened baking chocolate when he was about three. He saw it in the 'fridge and begged and begged for it and apparently he didn't believe me when I told him that it didn't taste good. It's the kind that comes in a package and each individual square is wrapped in wax paper. Next time I needed the baking chocolate I saw that the remain square had been unwrapped and then crudely re-wrapped and put back in the box. When I opened it up, there was a perfect impression of my sons' teeth, both uppers and lowers, embedded in the chocolate! It was rock hard from being in the refrigerator so he didn't get much. But it solved the mystery of why one day he suddenly stopped asking for the chocolate! And to this day he still doesn't like chocolate much.

 

[gcvmom]

MY bra under difficult child 1's shirt (he'd been trying it on for size -- he was 13 or 14).

A melted, 1/2 eaten 1/2 gallon of ice cream on difficult child 1's bed, tipped over, with about 1/4 of it running down the wall behind his bed.

 

[DammitJanet]

Cory was eleven with the vaseline. I came home from work to find my entire tub covered entirely in vaseline. Tub, handles, spigot. Everything. I was like...WTH? First off I had to figure out it was vaseline...lol. The I found then empty container. Cory! Then I found his pants! CORY! OMG!

Now can you imagine?!?

Needless to say I made him get in that tub and scrub it out with rags and grease relief!


Oh on the sanitary napkins. I found Cory sitting on my toilet one time reading the insert on my tampons. I got this loud anguished scream from the bathroom. He was about ten at the time. He yells...MOM...oh MOOOOOMMMMM! I go running in. Yes Cory. Mom....do you think I could have Toxic Shock?

LMAO!

 

[muttmeister]

Well, there was the time I found a half-eaten can of Spam behind the television.
Or all of the empty cans of ready-to-spread frosting I found in various and sundry places.
Then there was the time difficult child 1 was gone for a week and he left his door locked so I crawled in the window and found a light bulb burning over some marijuana seeds he had planted. I hit the light bulb and it went out and when he came back, guess what? Crop failure!!! LOL
The worst was when the lid to my mother's LeCreuset pan disappeared. It was one of those that was the lid of a saucepan but also a small skillet. difficult child 2 swore he knew nothing about it. We found it about a year later, stuffed up under the pool table above one of the big legs. It was in two pieces; he had broken it. Keep in mind, these are cast iron and so sturdy they are guaranteed for life. We never did find out how he managed to break it (but the company did replace it for free; I guess when they say lifetime guarantee they really mean it).
I could go on; I just thank God my difficult children are grown. Now the worst is when they take my tools and garden equipment but I usually don't find them!

 

[mstang67chic]

OMG Janet...the motion lotion.

THAT'S the story you should have told at Cleveland.....instead of being scared, the staff would have RAN!!!!!!!



Since my mom is a fan of the site, I read your post about the motion lotion to her. She was alternating between laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and repeating "EwwwEwwwEwww".

I think she had to use her inhaler afterwards. LOL


As for Cory reading the insert to your tampons..........I thought for sure that story was going to go in a different direction than it did....especially with the scream.

 

[susiestar]

Geez, I thought having a 2yo Wiz put pudding in his pants pockets was strange enough. He was only supposed to have pudding outside or in the bathtub. Same for popsicles because he made such an unholy mess with them.

So he found my stash of chocolate pudding cups and instead of taking the whole cup he opened it and poured it into his pants pockets. After the first time I BEGGED him to just take the whole container or ask and if he really wanted it bad enough to pour it into his pants, we would let him have it.

After the third time I sewed all his pants pockets shut. Same for shirt pockets. Because the third time I was working and husband didn't catch it when he got Wiz ready for bed. I came home and found husband asleep and Wiz sick as a dog all over himself, his bed and his room. The pudding spoiled and he was sucking it out of the fabric.

My mom accused me of child abuse because I sewed all his pockets shut. She was serious. THEN I told her she could let him have ALL the pockets she wanted - but SHE had to empty the pockets before they were washed and SHE had to come and take care of him if he got food poisoning again.

That backed her off quick, LOL!

Then, at age 13 we had just moved into this house. Wiz was with us. I had a LOT of spices go missing. The BIG jars, like you find at Sams. When I stuck my head into his room to ask him about the spices he had his head and arms down between the bed and the wall. There was a HORRIBLE smell in the room. Like something died and was rotting in there.

husband and I searched his room and found a bag of cooked ground beef. I had put several packets of cooked meat in the freezer and wondered why I couldn't find it.

He had been EATING out of a bag of meat that had been at room temp for almost a week! He hid it and just leaned down between the wall and the bed to grab a bite.

He had food poisoning, of course. He was reading about the ancient Egyptians and how they preserved meats with spices and salt. So he thought, with all of his magical thinking, that if he put a lot of spices on rotten meat it would magically be OK to eat.

He thought I was unforgivably mean because he got no sympathy and had to work to pay off the cost of the doctor visit. And the doctor wasn't nice or sympathetic once she heard what he had done.

 

[SRL]

That would definitely be his eyeglasses in the microwave when he was 3. I searched far and wide through the house and yard then finally gave up and when to make lunch...at which time I made the discovery.

 

[Star*]

Ohhhhhh dear....well if curiosity killed the cat - being a Leo child, ODD and my kid? He never had a chance from the word go. It almost reads like a psycho version of the game Clue.

The Tortise, in the sandbucket, on the (not on) barbecue grill.

The Matchbox car, in the microwave, on the flaming kitchen counter

The goldfish (plural), from the koi pond, in the hall toilet, in the bathroom (because it's cold out and the hot water nearly killed them Momma)

The spent- used fire extinguisher, down the hall and all over the only babysitter, now standing at the end of the drive on her cell phone - crying "I just went to the bathroom. I'm soooo sorry, like he is so fast." and the Dude now pouting in the front yard covered in a fine, white powdery dust with furled eyebrows angry saying - I told her not to call you.

The entire box of staples in my car headliner - because he thought he'd fix that one pucker - how precious...

The python that still roams Southern Florida that Marlon Perkins of Wild Kingdom said "all wild things should be kept in the wild" and so Curly was let loose - along with a 5lb Jaba toad, a 4' iguana, and numerous other wild snakes. I cringe every time I read about domestic /wild snakes in FL.

And that was all before he was four. If I even put the stuff he did after 5 - I'd need to have a Valium and a box of wine. I'm pretty sure some day that space ship will come back for him - and Cory

 

[mstang67chic]

I am laughing so hard right now!!!!!!

 

[gcvmom]

Oh, oh, oh... omg!!! I think I just peed my pants! Susie, I think I'm gonna puke... Star, I just can't even imagine...

 

[mstang67chic]

That would definitely be his eyeglasses in the microwave when he was 3. I searched far and wide through the house and yard then finally gave up and when to make lunch...at which time I made the discovery.

Hmmm....wonder if we're related! LOL My grandmother would find my uncle's glasses in the oddest places also when he was little....3 or 4. The mailbox, the oven, frig....anywhere he could reach. He hated them.

 

[Wiped Out]

There was the time we found his feces hidden in a dresser drawer.

There was also the time when he snuck a jar of peanut butter to bed and woke up with it all over him and all over the sheets-so much fun-not!

He used to hide all kinds of things when he was younger; I have to keep thinking on this!

 

[klmno]

I have rolled thru these stories! I can definitely relate although my son was more of a wanderer as a young child and I'm surprised I never got charged with neglect when he was a young child. Never mind that it might be 6:00 am- I woke up and found the kitchen bar stool at the front door and difficult child GONE! He was found wandering around the neighborhood. There are a couple of stories like that and then the one where he set the fire alarm off at the science museum during a food fair at around age 4 and locking me out of the car at the beach around age 2 when firetrucks and cops showed up- of course, assuming I had locked him in there. But I digress....

I have found all sorts of food and wrappers in the bedroom- under the beds, in couch cushions, etc. A container of plain sugar sticks out in my mind. He "played" with tampons- ok- he unraveled them for some reason- I assume he thought maybe something was inside- around age 9-10yo. I found a piece of my OLD lingerie under MY bed when he was about 11 yo. I found something smeared on my wall in my bedroom- I think it was vasoline because it did not dry out and felt greasy even after a few days. (The boys love that stuff, don't they? LOL!)

But, I think the funniest to me was when he found OLD condoms (not used- they had just been in my drawer for years) and I had forggoten about them- but I found them blown up like balloons on my BR floor and the empty wrappers in my drawer. "Moooooommmmmmm, why do you have balloons in your room??" LOL!

 

[flutterby]

This thread definitely needs a laugh warning!

My difficult child always told on herself. So, she'd come out of her room, close the door and say, "It's ok, Mommy. You don't need to go in there." Ummm...yeah I do. Only to find every container of glitter she had spilled on the floor.

She did try to play dumb when I found a rather long lock of blonde hair beside her bookcase - she tried to shove it under the bookcase. She just had no idea how that got there.

A picture of a scantily clad, well endowed woman in the hamper. Guess someone forgot to take it out of his pants pocket.

I guess the weirdest thing I found - and it's not so weird - was a hole in the wall when I touched one of easy child's car pictures he had hanging in his room. It was hollow behind it. Apparently, it had been that way for months. Of course, then I had to check all of the pictures and I found a couple more holes.

The weirdest things are what I can't find. Forever gone are 2 salad plates, 1 dinner plate, 2 soup bowls from one 8 place setting set; and almost all of the spoons and butter knives from (2) 8 place setting flatware sets. (I had to buy new flatware when we were down to one spoon and now most of the new ones are gone, too.) We have *a lot* of forks though. How do you lose dishes? Rather, how does difficult child lose dishes? They're gone. We moved and still didn't find them.

 

[JJJ]

The weirdest things are what I can't find. Forever gone are 2 salad plates, 1 dinner plate, 2 soup bowls from one 8 place setting set; and almost all of the spoons and butter knives from (2) 8 place setting flatware sets. (I had to buy new flatware when we were down to one spoon and now most of the new ones are gone, too.) We have *a lot* of forks though. How do you lose dishes? Rather, how does difficult child lose dishes? They're gone. We moved and still didn't find them.

This is my house. We are missing 4 salad plates, several bowls, and numerous glasses. I've searched everywhere. They are just gone...