Star*
call 911........call 911
Hi all,
difficult child has been in a high level management Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 1 1 2/ years. They (collective soul of those who belive that higher education automatically gets you a nose up on knowledge of a child like ours) have promised things like help with a part time job, assistance with a GED, since difficult child is 'technically' in the 11th grade but hasn't the Carnegie units to graduate it qualifies him as a 9th grader. No one has helped the situation by continuing to lie to difficult child at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or allow him to get away with things or set him up to fail. I'm exhausted and my warrior mom armor is so battle weary thin. I find myself saying more and more. "Well can't YOU handle that for yourself?" I don't know if it's more depression on my part or detachment through quality therapy.
Since being there 15 months I KNEW the call would be coming with the sweet, kind, "You know we LOVE Dude" talk, and then the BOMB.."But he hasn't made progress, WE need to be thinking about where we go from here".(Meaning take him home) This time instead of making arrangements to take him home, I blasted back. I came unglued, I hit them with "HOW DARE THEY" and then cited every infantessimile quirky, set-up, failure, hob goblin, mistake they have pulled, 4 career counselors one that wasn't even licensed, 2 staff members that were involved in an assault on my son on 2 separate occasions in which one was fired, and then I told them that if they with all their resources, money, staff, diplomas, education, outreach programs, and knowledge 24/7 couldn't contain this 16 year old HOW IN THE HADES did they think that one working mother and one crippled,pain-medication addled man could. There was silence. I told them that when they could answer THAT I would consider taking him home. Until then formulate a plan, and stick to it for once because they've had 1 1/2 years to make a difference in his life and let it slide. NOT MY PROBLEM. And also not my problem that they didn't allow the natural consequences to take over and work in his life. Favoring him did him NOT ONE bit of good. I've done my part. I've continued to go to therapy and family therapy once a week and we make sure since they could not even get difficult child to therapy one time a week that DF goes and gets him and takes him to therapy. SO we're about as therapied up as you can get, and yes it's made a tremendous difference. But it would have meant more if that house would have followed through with their consequences. Instead even with all their staff & resources available 24/7 they took the easy way out, and now they are seeing the side of difficult child that I've known ALL MY LIFE. Welcome to OUR world, now YOU deal with him.
difficult child's caseworker who hasn't been to see him in over a year and a half showed up today asking difficult child to sign a paper. The last time difficult child was asked to sign a paper the caseworker sent someone in his place and difficult child got transferred to a mental hospital 4 hours from home. It was awful. The caseworker never visited him. Christmas was - unspeakable. difficult child asked the caseworker if he had spoken with me today about this paper, and the man said "I called your mother." Untrusting, difficult child walked over to the staff phone while the caseworker was occupied with staff and he called me. HE asked if I had spoken to the caseworker about this today, had I gotten a call, at any time, could I check all the phones, cell, home, work. I said no." So difficult child held the phone up and shouted to the caseworker; "WHY do you continue to lie to me man, my Mom is on the phone and says you have NOT called her." (BUSTED) The man then said "I meant I was going to call her." And difficult child said...NO you said you called her, YOU SIR are a liar. And if you think I'm signing THAT paper, you are wrong again. I'll sign it when someone I trust is sitting here with me and can tell me EXACTLY what it means. The man left. I got a message on my home phone about 1 hour later. Caseworker was not happy. I'm not really sure I care that he was happy. I am proud that difficult child refused to sign something he did not understand. Although in this case it WAS for SSI and eventually he will need to help himself out with that.
Apparently angry at the fact that caseworker seemed not to care, difficult child proceeded to trash the unit, ripped a fire extinguisher box out of the wall, ripped trim off a door and left the campus without a note (AWOL) and now according to another phone call I got from the staff will serve an additional 3 weeks of restriction, early bedtime, no activities, and loss of level with no privledges for phone or visits.
.....So finally it sounds like the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is doing SOMETHING to difficult child and hopefully they will stick to it. Hopefully. Time will tell. It's going to be another one of THOSE Valentines days. I'm writing Kleenex and telling them they need to market "warrior mom" strength tissues. Stinks to be me today, and then we move on.
And the phone rings...it's the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they are taking him to the ER...for stitches in his mouth. Someone punched him in the mouth. And tomorrow we're up at 3:00 AM to take DF to the dentist (1 1/2 hr. ride and must be there at 5 am) to have all HIS teeth pulled and get plates upper and lower, and I miss another day of work, and where DID I put that extra large 55 gallon drum of Calgon. pass me a brownie. ARGH.
Somewhere over the rainbow.....la la la...if i stood out in the middle of the road, at 9:00 PM, wearing only my slipper socks and a Christmas Apron and that lip inflater lipstick I wonder if I could get 72 hours at the state B&B? Must find a hat too...it's cold out.
Thanks for the listen.
What a whiner. Wine....that's it! I'll have wine with my slipper socks! <img src="
" alt="" /> :princess:
difficult child has been in a high level management Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 1 1 2/ years. They (collective soul of those who belive that higher education automatically gets you a nose up on knowledge of a child like ours) have promised things like help with a part time job, assistance with a GED, since difficult child is 'technically' in the 11th grade but hasn't the Carnegie units to graduate it qualifies him as a 9th grader. No one has helped the situation by continuing to lie to difficult child at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or allow him to get away with things or set him up to fail. I'm exhausted and my warrior mom armor is so battle weary thin. I find myself saying more and more. "Well can't YOU handle that for yourself?" I don't know if it's more depression on my part or detachment through quality therapy.
Since being there 15 months I KNEW the call would be coming with the sweet, kind, "You know we LOVE Dude" talk, and then the BOMB.."But he hasn't made progress, WE need to be thinking about where we go from here".(Meaning take him home) This time instead of making arrangements to take him home, I blasted back. I came unglued, I hit them with "HOW DARE THEY" and then cited every infantessimile quirky, set-up, failure, hob goblin, mistake they have pulled, 4 career counselors one that wasn't even licensed, 2 staff members that were involved in an assault on my son on 2 separate occasions in which one was fired, and then I told them that if they with all their resources, money, staff, diplomas, education, outreach programs, and knowledge 24/7 couldn't contain this 16 year old HOW IN THE HADES did they think that one working mother and one crippled,pain-medication addled man could. There was silence. I told them that when they could answer THAT I would consider taking him home. Until then formulate a plan, and stick to it for once because they've had 1 1/2 years to make a difference in his life and let it slide. NOT MY PROBLEM. And also not my problem that they didn't allow the natural consequences to take over and work in his life. Favoring him did him NOT ONE bit of good. I've done my part. I've continued to go to therapy and family therapy once a week and we make sure since they could not even get difficult child to therapy one time a week that DF goes and gets him and takes him to therapy. SO we're about as therapied up as you can get, and yes it's made a tremendous difference. But it would have meant more if that house would have followed through with their consequences. Instead even with all their staff & resources available 24/7 they took the easy way out, and now they are seeing the side of difficult child that I've known ALL MY LIFE. Welcome to OUR world, now YOU deal with him.
difficult child's caseworker who hasn't been to see him in over a year and a half showed up today asking difficult child to sign a paper. The last time difficult child was asked to sign a paper the caseworker sent someone in his place and difficult child got transferred to a mental hospital 4 hours from home. It was awful. The caseworker never visited him. Christmas was - unspeakable. difficult child asked the caseworker if he had spoken with me today about this paper, and the man said "I called your mother." Untrusting, difficult child walked over to the staff phone while the caseworker was occupied with staff and he called me. HE asked if I had spoken to the caseworker about this today, had I gotten a call, at any time, could I check all the phones, cell, home, work. I said no." So difficult child held the phone up and shouted to the caseworker; "WHY do you continue to lie to me man, my Mom is on the phone and says you have NOT called her." (BUSTED) The man then said "I meant I was going to call her." And difficult child said...NO you said you called her, YOU SIR are a liar. And if you think I'm signing THAT paper, you are wrong again. I'll sign it when someone I trust is sitting here with me and can tell me EXACTLY what it means. The man left. I got a message on my home phone about 1 hour later. Caseworker was not happy. I'm not really sure I care that he was happy. I am proud that difficult child refused to sign something he did not understand. Although in this case it WAS for SSI and eventually he will need to help himself out with that.
Apparently angry at the fact that caseworker seemed not to care, difficult child proceeded to trash the unit, ripped a fire extinguisher box out of the wall, ripped trim off a door and left the campus without a note (AWOL) and now according to another phone call I got from the staff will serve an additional 3 weeks of restriction, early bedtime, no activities, and loss of level with no privledges for phone or visits.
.....So finally it sounds like the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is doing SOMETHING to difficult child and hopefully they will stick to it. Hopefully. Time will tell. It's going to be another one of THOSE Valentines days. I'm writing Kleenex and telling them they need to market "warrior mom" strength tissues. Stinks to be me today, and then we move on.
And the phone rings...it's the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they are taking him to the ER...for stitches in his mouth. Someone punched him in the mouth. And tomorrow we're up at 3:00 AM to take DF to the dentist (1 1/2 hr. ride and must be there at 5 am) to have all HIS teeth pulled and get plates upper and lower, and I miss another day of work, and where DID I put that extra large 55 gallon drum of Calgon. pass me a brownie. ARGH.
Somewhere over the rainbow.....la la la...if i stood out in the middle of the road, at 9:00 PM, wearing only my slipper socks and a Christmas Apron and that lip inflater lipstick I wonder if I could get 72 hours at the state B&B? Must find a hat too...it's cold out.
Thanks for the listen.
What a whiner. Wine....that's it! I'll have wine with my slipper socks! <img src="
" alt="" /> :princess:
on his cheek. Blender diet for 8 weeks, pain killers, antibiotics, and ABSOLUTELY no touching to the face area at all. If he gets restrained or hit, it could mean false teeth or loss of his jaw, even death. I was stunned. The doctor painted the best case scenario too. It was still not good, as there is a nerve in your lower jaw that controls your lip and he's not certain he can save it due to the placement of the fracture so Dude may end up horse lipped. Now I'm in shock. Surgery is tomorrow at 10, it will take 8 hours. If you have a prayer for him, please say it. 
