Our son just turned 17' and is a very bright young man. He has started skipping class, is failing classes this term, and evidently has hooked up a crowd of young people who smoke a lot of pot. We have certain rules in our home, such as basic respect and a non smokimg household but have returned several times to find our home reeking of pot. We have also made it crystal clear that pot usage is illegal, and the physical and cognitive effects in usage by adolescents is not fully understood. Twice he has taken our cars and driven them without a permit and possibly while stoned. We are terrified he could hurt himself or another person, since he really does not know how to drive. And he is driving illegally. When we attempt to hold him accountable for boundaries and rules, he sometimes rages at us, calling is terrible names, kicking holes in the walls, and destroying property. We are ready to call the police next time this happens and wish we had done so previously when he took our cars. We only found out after the fact. Now we are locking up spare keys if we are not home, and bringing the other key with us. We live in a state of constant hypervigilance and cannot trust a single story he tells us. We do not wish to involve our son in the criminal justice system, but he seems to have no respect for us as his parents. We are at a loss, and miss the strong, loving connection we once had. We also are frightened that he will continue to push the edges of risk taking until it lands him either in jail, the hospital, or both. We have talked to him about our concerns when things are calm he just thinks we are being overreactive. ??? We feel somewhat trapped in our own home, waiting for him to come home at 1:00 in the morning or 5:00 in the morning, and we must be vigilant about hiding money, keys and other items. He has a counselor, but our son does not see these behaviors as problematic, so there does not seem any real motivation to change. He is 17 and so we cannot demand that he leave. However, we cannot imagine another entire year of verbal abuse, school truancy and getting stoned then sleeping all day.