<2 mths til 18 *LONG in my opinion*

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TheOnlyMe, Jun 4, 2008.


Would you give up on two more yrs of public education or say get a GED & Job?

  1. Yes

  2. NO

Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. TheOnlyMe

    TheOnlyMe Relentless Warrior Mom

    Well I guess I need to vent! I am so tired of fighting:faint: for my son's FAPE!

    He is a pretty good difficult child! He keeps curfew (even comes home early three times in a row) and doesn't self medicate, is medication complaint, attends psychiatric family counseling and support group. His social friends are limited, due to the fact a couple months ago his best friends stole a bike and he told the truth. He stood up to the peer pressure to tell them he does not want those associations. Hopefully as of the 16th of this month he will turn 18 with a clean criminal record despite four tickets during his "cocktail and coping skills" being perfected. He is slothful in his chores but I have learned to pick my battles on the chores. Thank God I don't have a SO to hear it from when the chores are "let go"

    Here comes my vent......I have been a VERY active participant during his education with special services from 5 yrs old! I should say he was diagnosis severe ADHD at 5, but Bipolar I-only two yrs ago.(a whole other post) EVERY YEAR I always knew (like us moms do) he was challenged in Math and English . Yet I had no "evidence", well last year the P-DR pulled him out to homebound due to the stress from school stalled in the IEE process to determine Learning Disability (LD) with these two subjects. We had a great plan (the best as of yet) set in place as of last annual IEP after IEE last year. Yet he was still in what I call "diagnosis gestation stage" of his BiPolar (BP)/MD diagnosis which takes about 2 yrs to get cocktail right and "owning the diagnosis". So he attempted suicide 2 x in less than 60 days, which thru this WM for a looptee loop to just survive let alone monitor the enforcement of the IEP! Yet we did! ANYWHO....his Best Ever IEP is not followed he spirals quickly, we get approval for a DTC thru SD. I am concerned about the curriculum of the facility, which was warranted! Yet he did stabilizes and NO MORE STIMULANTS AT ALL for his severe ADHD which was causing the Mania. He did acquire self awareness which he didnt have, prior to DTC BUT:mad: here we are now!

    In the throws of a battle for RE-evaluation time line not being completed(which should be noted I knew was due to them wanting to transfer rights at age of maturity-so I got a Durable Power of ATTY), no annual IEP completed due to Peeing contest over RE-evaluation or class testing, CBA and TAKS scores for planning and evaluation purposes. I am contemplating filing a complaint with TEA after going thru the "steps" with the SD. TAKS scores received yesterday (which was the last day of school) for Eng, Math, Sci, SS, scores did not met standards. I do know the results came out two weeks ago but once again THEY stalled the delivery of the information, or so as to not to have to suggest EYS! Oh yea forgot when the DTC transition him they did a Mini battery WCJ and he scored 3 & 4 PR in math and english!
    :sick: Also, assisted technology assessment last year did yield an alpha smart(like a mini laptop) for his disability with written expression BUT the SD refuses to recognize a Learning Disability (LD). I know the label "don't matter" but it has been rumored to me it does allocate more funding for the child. :praying:My hope right now is a NeroPsych from the DARS which may show something the 11 yrs of psycho-ed evaluations have NOT!

    I am so tempted to get an out of state attorney to get a class action lawsuit against the TEA, for NCLB, Child FIND, IDEA, FERPA!!! :full:

    My major frustration is to let it go and give up or keep fighting for what? I have been ACTIVE for 13 yrs & for what? :angry-very: How would of the results today of been if I hadn't been advocating for 13 yrs, would he still be at the same academic deficiencies? UGH!!!! What to do???

    I am trying to transition him every way I know for adult life....but am very concerned of his ability to function and maintain due to his emotional immaturity and lack of education! I have even entertained thoughts of a GED and go work off shore! Yet he wants his high school years, he will start physical strength and endurance camp on Monday for the summer. He has an initial orientation for a youth advisory training through a nonprofit group, which will train him for public speaking and learning to have a voice to be heard of his own advocacy.

    The reason I posted here and not Special Education 101 is my concerns for his being an adult :biting:in less than 60 days!

    His strengths are his kind, pretty obedient, loving, funny, great discernment of peoples motives and intents, he has a personal relationship with the Lord and is active in the church, he is active in support group and helping younger kids even MR at the DTC.

    He wants to go to four yr college----for what??? so he can play football!!!! Yesterday he wants to be a chef today he don't even want to help me cook supper!

    :peaceout:*Please tell me if I should of posted in SE 101, instead of here*
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hon, he's 18 and WANTS to go to school. You have no idea what a great gift that is. I don't care what his reason is, he WANTS to go. Let him. I know that back home there are now 20 YOs in high school because they can't pass the exit exam, so he won't be the only older teen in school.

    Fighting the schools is no fun. I know. I've been there done that over and over. I won't even tell you what I think of my daughter's SD. I do know that one day a parent is going to lose it in an IEP and things will get very ugly.

    So, I'd say go post in the Ed Forum so you can keep fighting for him. They can't kick him out because he has an IEP. He deserves every chance he can get. The longer he stays in school, the better chance he has of maturing and gaining more skills towards independence.
  3. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Star, Danny was qualified her I think it was under AB3632 (or something like that - its been a few years and my memory is a few years older). Here you have to jump thru hoops and get the State Mental Health Dept involved before you can qualify, and it covered him until the age of 22, he graduated OR got an IEP.

    The only thing I do remember distinctly was the SPED person sweetly smiling at me when she congradulated Danny on the fact that he would be 18 in a week, and you can handle these meetings by yourself - your mom will no longer be involved.

    I smiled sweetly back and said, oh, don't worry, I intend to get him to give me Power of Attorney next week over his educational matters and decisions - I would so miss these meetings..

    Thankfully the Mental Health person was in attendance and knew what their game was and wasn't having any of it (and kept me from leaning over the table and pulling every hair out of her head).

    And of course Dan did quit school a few months later - I still wasn't sweating it cause I had till he was 22 - but then decided to get his GED on his own and passed first time..

    Honestly, If I had to do the school thing all over again, I would hire a Parent Advocate from the beginning instead of towards the end. It was worth the 1,500 I shelled out for him to do battle with the SD. Maybe they have something similar to our AB there where you live, but if I recall correctly, the Mental Health end had 60 days to do their part in the getting him qualified.

  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hey {{star}} I voted no, meaning not in his case.

    I fought tooth and nail - practically to my insanity - for difficult child to finish HS. All I wanted for her is to see her get that darned piece of paper that says she made it. There were times when I was ready to just say to he// with it, withdraw her from school and wait to get her GED. I'm glad now I didn't give up. I'm glad I had the tenacity, as do you, to continue the fight to the end. And most of the time a small amount of her teachers and I were the only ones fighting so hard to see her through it. But again, I'm glad for it. I'm also glad its all over - whew.

    We can't tell you what to do, but as always, I suggest you go with what your gut is telling you to do. Sending lots of hugs~
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Freaky - another Star. lol

    In our case my son wanted to go to school. He would have been 21 when he graduated hs IF : he could have hung in while hearing comments about having a beard, moustache - grandpa get a diploma and other cutting hs remarks that would have been made. Plus to be 21 and with 15 year old kids - nah.

    Here the kids have to have Carnegie credits. So many credits are given for each year and you have to have x amount to graduate and get a diploma.

    He missed so many years being in and out of Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s that there was no way for him to graduate. He would next year of course be walking and getting cap and gown and diploma.

    Instead he ended up in jail and is now court ordered to get a GED. No one wanted a "felon" in school. And the district wanted him OUT - but no more than we wanted him OUT.

    In 3 months of one on one education and assistance from the GED teacher - he's moved up 4 levels in math - a victory I savor. And he's also working on getting a work keys - for employment. A lot of local and state wide businesses are getting a tax break for using work key kids through adult ed.

    We worked with the Governor's office and got Dude into a therapeutic foster home that is teaching him skills for living on his own, helping him get back and forth to school, and if he gets a job - back and forth to that. He likes the school, it's a smaller place (Adult Ed) and since he was in SPED classes he can't go to the night classes. For him that means catching a bus in the AM and going to "school" where he's going to test out for a GED with their help. I may have missed my last hold out on a dream for a graduation - but I'm tired. I've been fighting the system for him for 14 years plus and finally he just looked at me and said
    "Mom - I want to go to school at Adult Ed, they get me there." and he's around more mature people, there is less peer pressure and there is NO clowning around. So for me - I'd vote YES - give up on 2 more years of public ed IF he could make it in Adult Ed. If not - you really have no choice but to leave him in SPED and hope he hangs in there for graduation at 20 or 21.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    He WANTS to go to school. PLEASE support him, with whatever help he needs. Get an advocate for you both, get power of attorney or whatever, this will help you help him.

    I really can't say too much been there done that, because my son is going to graduate early, due to age and being skipped a grade. I can say we have an agreement in place with the school district that gives us whatever special things my kids need, through the youngest one's graduation in exchange for my NOT joining a lawsuit. There was a class action suit against the middle school ED teacher (who is now the alternative high school principal, urp!) who completely ignored my son's IEP, let him use HER computer ID (so he used it to hack the firewall to get porn), fed his obsessions to the point he ended up in a residential psychiatric hospital for FOUR months!! I couldn't see putting the energy into the lawsuit, when I could force them to help all of my kids. I still have the legal right to file if they break this agreement in ANY way as determined by little ole me. But it took MAJOR effort, huge cajones and knowing my legal and psychiatric exxcrement to pull it off.

    I have heard a LOT about the state of Texas and the horrible way children are treated there. It is a major reason I refused to move to a job in TX when my husband got his masters. Just refused, don't care what they pay. Would have gone anywhere else though.

    I am sorry you are stuck with these problems, the education forum will be able to give more specific help.


  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was never so happy as I was the day they silently agreed that we could all just forget that my kid ever had to darken the schools doorsteps again. It was illegal as hell because he was under 16 but we were all tired of the fight. I do wish that my son had given me just one tiny iota of reason to keep fighting for him because then I would have but...it was just me fighting and him doing everything he could to thwart all my efforts. I gave up

    Now he wishes he hadnt been so hard headed.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    If he wants to go to school...let him go to school. Support his decision, and dance happily as he walks for his diploma. I am not a fan of that No Child Left Behind crap everyone needs to or wants to go to a four year college. I think that, if we truly want to leave no child behind, we should put funding into vocational ed. I believe the jobs of the future are going to be the ones the computers can't do, in the service industries. We will always need plumbers, mechanics, police, firefighters, etc. Can't he receive services through the district till he's 22? Or is that just a CA thing?