Hello and thank you for this forum. I am so glad I found it. I am new here and this is my first post. I have a 30-year-old daughter who was diagnosed as Bipolar (possibly Borderline) at about 13 years old. She can not hold a job. She has relied on boyfriends and an ex-husband for a place to live. She has lived both with me, her father and friends in between boyfriends. She has been hospitalized for depression 4 times. She has attempted suicide. She occasionally uses drugs (marijuana, cocaine) and seems to somewhat sexually promiscuous. I know much of this from a report that was sent to my house by a psychiatric hospital where she started attending a program but did not continue. We have sent her to therapists, set-up house rules, given her money, let her live in our home, guided and paid for her to get vocational skills, found and paid for therapists, found recovery programs and none of these endeavors have helped. We just don't know how to help her. For the last year or so she has been living with a very nice man. She is pretty and always finds boyfriends (and a short-term husband) that are caretakers. But she spirals down and get very abusive. She hit the man she is living with. She has a history of some violence, includung hitting a forner landlord, a former boss and me. (Each once) The current boyfriend relationship is ending. He wants her out. She is about to become homeless when he throws her out. She is on SS Disability. Her car was repossessed. I am 66. I have come to the point where I want to enjoy the rest of the days while I am healthy and can enjoy my life, my husband and my dog. My mother died at 53 and my father has Parkinsons and I want to enjoy the good years I have left. She is going to need a place to live. I don't want her in my home. She has verbally threatened me many times and done some physical damage in the past. Her threats are cruel and frightening. Her father is recenty divorced from his second marriage and living in a one-bedroom. We have a house and actualy have an extra room, although we do use that room. He says he does not have room for her in his apartment. I make much less money that I used to, so giving her financial support is not an option right now. My stomach goes into a knot when I think of her or see her name on my phone. I am totally conflcited becaise I believe it is my job to help take care of her but it makes me frightened and physically sick to have this abusive person in my life. I have been to therapy and was told that I should let her go to a homeless shelter last time we faced and episode like what is happening now. I was not able to do that. The therapist said that if she could succeed on her own it would strengthen her. I do agree with that. However I am not sure what she is capable of. I do understand that she is sick. But I can not live with her. I have been reading about detachment here. I have seen several times that there is an article about detachment at the end of a post but I don't see it on the thread. Guidance to article would be very much appreciated. I also saw a reference to Al-Anon articles. by the way she is not acting particularly abusive at the moment. She did ask to live here. But in the past she has told me in frightening terms that she has a right to live at my house and I would have to evict her to get her out. I can not let that situation happen. (I have spoken to a lawyer, but I still don't want to let her in the door.) Unfortunately some of her mail is sent here and that worries me. Thank you in advance for reading my long rambling post. I need to put my own oxygen mask on first. but it's killing me.