A Stinker of a Day!

[Dara]

I really jinxed this one! I made the grave mistake of saying how wonderful Sammy has been. Starting yesterday the tantrums and hitting came back. He had testing at the school district and did very well. On the way to the car Sammy ahd a meltdown and I caried him kicking screaming hitting. While trying to get him buckled in his car seat, he was kicking me and trying to rip my skin off. FUN FUN! Today started out like that. He brought back his old school stuff like raging for diaper changes head butting head banging, the whole nine yards. THe chocolate didnt even work today. Granted he has a sinus infection but he always has a sinus infection. He has allergies and lives in texas! He has screamed and raged over every little thing we have done or not done today. I really hoped we were moving away from this! Hopeful thinking I guess! THose hopes were smashed!

 

[Steely]

Oh boy..........so sorry!
It is definitely weird how saying something good seems to jinx their mood, isn't it??? Just yesterday I told someone how great my difficult child was being lately..........and BOOM........today stunk! I hold my breathe now when we have good days, and I am really not even superstitious.

Anyway...Texas is horrible right now! I have a neverending headache from all the rain and allergies, so your little guy is probably suffering too. Hang in there, it will get better!

 

[SRL]

I remember how much we as moms want to have hope when the good periods come that things are starting to improve, but reality is for difficult child's as young as Sammy, is that you should expect ups and downs. Once you get this mindset it's a lot easier emotionally to handle those down times because it's expected.

 

[Dara]

I really did know that this is how it goes but it is so hard to deal with when the good is SO good. We had such a goo dtime and he was cuddley with me. I waited 2 years for that. He still cuddles with me durring his good moods and then we he is in a mood he wants me gone. Not anyone else but me. That is what is so hard about it. You would think that I would be used to it by now and not take it personally but I cant help it. It took 2 years for him to want to cuddle. Noone knows what that is about. His therapy office has spent hours going over video of this and just random interaction between us and they cant figure it out. All I want to do is play with my child! How hard should that be! I felt like such a failure for so long when he would do this. My inlaws would laugh and say "What are you doing to him?" THey convinced my 8 year old neice that he doesnt behave with me so only she can teach him things I dont need this kind of S***! When Sammy is screaming over everything including here is your juice... I feel like I am going out of my mind. I just want to understand all of this. If I understood what was going on in his mind, maybe it wouldnt seem so insane! Sorry, I didnt know all of that would come pouring out...

 

[Alisonlg]

Oh hun! :::: So sorry you've had such a stinker of a day!

 

[Wiped Out]

Hugs-I'm sorry for your hard day.

 

[SRL]

I'm sorry, Dara, I didn't mean to be insensitive to how much it hurts. My difficult child dished out a lot of rejection and over time I came to realize it wasn't *difficult child* but his neurological miswiring that was doing the rejection. Without this disorder, I am convinced that my difficult child would be the most laid back kid in my house! Over time my skin has thickened up and his behavior is more moderate so it's easier--he' past the age most boys cuddle with mom and not dishing up the verbal rejection comments that are so hard on us parents. Of course, he's in that preteen stage now so I'll need to gear up for another round coming soon.

I think it's pretty common for difficult children to have one parent who they are far more difficult towards. I got the best of it and the worst of it in terms of good relationship and meltdowns but my husband had some really rough years to endure. difficult child went on a "Down with Dad" kick and had a steady supply of negative comments and behaviors for him. For the most part he just ignored it and in time it wore off.

I think one of the hardest parts of parenting a difficult child child is that we miss out on a lot of the normal rewards of parenting. That's balanced out by a different sense of accomplishment and joy when our kids do well, but not at all the same for the long haul.

 

[SRL]

PS--are you working with an allergist and an ENT on that sinus infection? My difficult child has had 2 sinus surgeries and had tremendous improvement both times, both in behavior, sleep, and symptoms. We finally have a treatment plan in place to tackle the infections that seems to be working but he had to have his sinus passages clear first.

A sinus infection that is ongoing is usually either chronic and requires surgery or actually being mistaken for an allergy. CT scans and RAST blood tests can help sort it out. Also, many parents find eliminating milk and milk products worth a trial for chronic nasal symptoms.

 

[Dara]

We are working with an ENT. Sammy has allready had tubes in his ears and his adnoids out. allergy tests were inconclusive due to his age. Sammy's pediatrician is going to do a blood test at his 3 year old checkup so...
Texas is terrible and Houstons air is so polluted that it is amazing that we are all breathing! My allergies and asthma are terrible here. Sammy usually gets this nonsense durring the bad seasons! Now that he is turning 3 we are really going to explore our options more. We had none before now. What kind of surgery did your sons have for this?
YOu werent being insensitive. I started writing and what I was feeling came pouring out! THat is the beauty of this board that all of you understand! It is nice to know that people understand instead of looking at you like you are crazy and your child should bond with you...