Hi to all of you. I am keeping up with all the posts. I am commenting when and where I can. I am struggling. The story of the hungry ghost came to mind. I think I have certainly had a visit from such a creature lately and it has taken over my house. https://www.google.ca/amp/s/medium.com/amp/p/2bb397dbdc10 I simply do not have the strength to get over or even around the dreaded thoughts that keep going through my mind and make me sit in silent rage. My brain is screaming and. I don’t have the energy to let it out. I am tired, I am wrung out of hope and my hungry ghost is telling me all the things I want, deserve and desire will never be within my reach. I can’t wrap my head around how my son can possibly think his life is not just ok but good. I asked him how studying was going he said good. I got notice today that he will not be passing any of his courses. What a colossal waste of time. He is deluding him self to the bitter end. I though about telling him to throw in the towel and not even bother writing his exams. What’s the point. He could have had 4 months in rehab by this pint in time. I just don’t get it, I don’t won’t , and can’t comprehend how my son is embracing his late teens and what could be such an amazing life. Living in the upside down, me and my hungry ghost. I just don’t have the energy to push the negative and despondent feelings away and to just get on with it. Today is today and I have failed to keep my spirits high and my resolve strong. I just feel worn down by it all. My sons lack of direction, lack of achievement and responsibility just make me so sad. What makes me the saddest of all is that he truly has no self awareness what a heap his life has become. He is now a young man. He is not a little boy any more.