...Aaaaand it just got worse

[2much2recover]

Oh so you live in Florida and had the work done under Florida Statutes?
Probate (court that rules Guardianship) is not FEDERAL LAW but varies state by state. OP and I are both in the state of Florida. I don't think telling someone the truth is trying to scare them.
However you think because what worked for you in your state will work here. Not necessarily and that is why I posted informative links instead of argumentative statements to help OP. I am sure through those links she can find the information that is the best situation for her and her family. I don't think we, as posters on a board have the right to be telling her there is only one way (cheap) to go when all of us live in different states governed by different laws and regulations. I am happy you have not had the experience with your difficult child or easy child that I had with my sister. You should be happy about that too.

 

[GoingNorth]

Today is one of the most important days in the Christian calendar. I am not Christian, but in the spirit of that day, can't you just let this drop?

 

[2much2recover]

Here is the most important reason people with children with ID's need someone looking out for them, however they get it done:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abuse_and_intellectual_disability
Studies indicate that people with intellectual disabilities are four to ten times more likely to have acts of violence committed against them.[6] Dick Sobsey, Associate Director of the JP Das Developmental Disabilities Centre and Director of the John Dossetor Health Ethics Centre, found that 80% out of 162 people with developmental and substantial disabilities who had been sexually assaulted had been sexually assaulted more than once.[7]
Sobsey estimates that between 15,000 and 19,000 individuals with intellectual disabilities experience rape each year.[7]

It is believed by some that 20% of females and 10% of males are sexually abused in the US every year. The percentage is even higher among people with disabilities. According to research, more than 90% of people with intellectual disabilities will experience some form of sexual abuse at some time in their lives. 49% will experience 10 or more abusive incidents.[8]

Other studies suggest 68% of girls with intellectual disabilities and 30% of boys with intellectual disabilities will be sexually abused before their eighteenth birthday. According to research 15,000 to 19,000 people with intellectual disabilities are raped each year in the United States.[9]

Sullivan and Knutson found, in 2000, that children with intellectual disabilities were at slightly greater risk of sexual abuse than disabled children in general, who in turn were at 3.14 times greater risk of experiencing sexual abuse than non-disabled children.[1]:61
AND THIS: The Seattle Rape Relief Project program for victims of sexual assault with intellectual disabilities conclude that there is underreporting of sexual assaults of victims with intellectual disabilities that exceed under-reporting with other populations.[6] Several studies suggest 80-85% of criminal abuse of residents of institutions never reach the proper authorities. The studies have found that 40% of those criminally abused and 40% of non-abusing staff of care facilities studied are reluctant to come forward with criminal abuse issues for fear of reprisals or retribution from administrators.[20]

 

[2much2recover]

You are making it a much bigger deal than it is, and I'm afraid you are going to scare this poster into thinking it's a money market to get guardianship. I know others who also have guardianship, none who have gone through that kind of mess you're talking about. Maybe if it's an older adult it's different, but a disabled child is not that big a deal and is not costly. IT IS NOT COSTLY OR HARD TO ACCOMPLISH! YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORK CLOSELY OR, I BELIEVE, EVEN HAVE A LAWYER!I just asked my husband, who was in this with me.

We just paid what the lawyer asked because my sister had been violently raped and beaten by a caregiver employed by a well known company that provides services for the ID community (Verified by DCF and the Sheriffs Department). Didn't think twice or bat an eye at paying it. Because of what happened to her is why I know so much on the subject, I make it my business because I care enough about this whole community of people to keep myself educated.
But thanks for all the support - I don't know why someone's word can not be trusted on this board but don't really know if I want to stick around if it brings up these kind of arguments, (and my bad memories) - and yes, especially at Christmas when some of us are in mourning.

 

[greenrene]

I appreciate ALL the input, and I'm sorry that things seem to have degenerated a little. I've heard that Florida is pretty screwed up in this arena, and also that most services are geared toward the elderly population, so thank you for the links 2m2r - I didn't realize you were here too!

Now let's all join hands and sing carols!

 

[BusynMember]

Well, I"m glad you are both in the same state. However, it may be different when a caregiver is dangerous to somebody who is given custody of that person than if the parent applies for guardianship. It didn't cost us anything and there was no need to get a lawyer.

I think the school would know what to do before anything is undertaken. Probably plenty of their student's parents are applying for legal guardianship. They likely know the ropes about young adults who are disabled and how parents can get legal guardianship over their disabled children. First the child needs to be declared disabled by the state and the school can likely point poster in the right direction.

I am not trying to say anyone is right or wrong, just that each situation is different. I'd look into it before panic set in about money. I'd see first what the school's experience with other parents has been. That's how we started out.

Another note: I have read MANY posts that triggered memories for me that were trauamtic. This place is not a place where you always hear things you like to hear and, as you can see in the Watercooler, many threads are long and personal, about our trauamas. Sorry this one was a trigger, but I could not have known that and while I'm sorry, I had no idea.

Good luck

 

[2much2recover]

I appreciate ALL the input, and I'm sorry that things seem to have degenerated a little. I've heard that Florida is pretty screwed up in this arena, and also that most services are geared toward the elderly population, so thank you for the links 2m2r - I didn't realize you were here too!

Now let's all join hands and sing carols!

I would love to give you direction but I suggest PM. Merry Christmas!

 

[Lil]

As many lawyers give free initial consultations, as I said earlier, its easy enough to find out firsthand what they recommend and the cost from an attorney in your state.

2M2R, I'm very sorry horrible things happened to your sister. I'm sure it was awful for you and your family, but no reason to attack me personally for offering advice. Incidentally, I am free to offer legal advice if I choose.

Greenrene, I think I shall go sing those happy Christmas songs now. I do hope everyone had a nice day.

Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[2much2recover]

I felt EXTREMELY ATTACKED by those ignoring my advice that wasn't meant for THEM in the first place but for OP who also lives in the same state I do.
I feel all the tense discussions last week sent everyone a little over the bend. I don't come to a board like this to argue this kind of crap. I am sorry but I just got angrier and angrier with all of those who seemed to have other agendas and taking them out on what I was posting. If you do not live in this state and have not seen how screwed up the system is you can not advise someone on how to best deal with the system, here, the one that is in place, her, in this state.
Lil, I would never doubt the expert you are in your field or call it in to question. However, having said that I wonder why, after I had already told OP that I have a lot of expertise in this field in THIS STATE - you would offer your opinion on the legal goings on in our state. I really do know them better because I have lived through them, experienced them, researched them and been complimented on my abilities by a Probate Judge in my state, in my jurisdiction. So yes, I agree I was snarky but I can't for the life of me understand why, after I told OP what I know you would go against it having no experience in the field of guardianship in the ID community or even having had any experience with the ID community itself. (which her in Florida, like OP agreed with, is highly regulated and geared towards the elderly)

In Florida people in the ID community are at great risk of being abused by the system. I will take these issues up in PM with OP because it seems some people just want to argue and unless you have walked a mile in my shoes, having seen someone you love and cherish victimized repeatedly by the system, you can not fathom what are the real issues, the bigger ones going on here. These issued FORCED me to educate myself on Florida laws and how to work the system instead of the system running my sister.

Offering advice to someone on which you have no basis to make a call on that advice is just chiming in to chime in and not helpful when someone IS giving the lowdown on what REALLY goes on in the state they live in. I am sorry for all of those who never have to deal with those issues that I dared give educated advice.

What I am truly sorry about is that I ever posted that I am an expert on something because it really did bring out a huge argument - which I don't really understand but like we say about the difficult child's it is what it is and people do what they do. I guess the arguers here know so much more than I do about what goes on in this state as far as guardianship and the ID community - how could I dare to call myself an "expert"

 

[Lil]

I felt EXTREMELY ATTACKED by those ignoring my advice that wasn't meant for THEM in the first place but for OP who also lives in the same state I do.

However, having said that I wonder why, after I had already told OP that I have a lot of expertise in this field in THIS STATE - you would offer your opinion on the legal goings on in our state.

How on earth was I to know you were in the same state? I don't go around reading people's profiles and you didn't say so until two posts after mine! That being said, I did NOT ignore your advice! I did NOT tell her to ignore your advice. I gave my OWN opinion, which is different than yours. Seriously, reread my posts! What the hell did I say except that guardianship is simply not that expensive? When uncontested, it's one of the simplest legal proceedings in probate! I'm sorry that a difference of opinion made you this angry, but if your post hadn't shown such an obvious dislike (hatred?) of the legal profession I probably wouldn't have gotten so up in arms myself (lawyer-racket and talking about stealing of the ward's money). That was bad enough, but basically you then pretty much came out and accused me of not knowing what I was talking about...when I NEVER said that about YOU. All I did was state my position and suggest she see an attorney before making up her mind, which I find pretty reasonable.

I've said on these boards before we need to remember that OUR situation is not the same as the OTHER peoples. You clearly had a terrible experience with the probate system in your state. That does not mean that greenrene's experience will be horrible.

I saw you started another thread where you said you are leaving the site. I hope you do not. You've been quite helpful here in many ways and really, a few people getting hot headed is no reason to go away angry.

As for calling yourself an expert...well there's a reason I usually don't tell people I'm an attorney on the internet. I thought I'd make an exception on this site and don't think I don't regret that too.

 

[recoveringenabler]

You've all offered Greenrene an opportunity to learn what her options are. I'm sorry issues surfaced which caused painful memories to surface, that is an understandable and often unavoidable experience on a public forum where such sensitive issues are discussed. I would appreciate it if we could all take a step back and regroup now. From my perspective, it doesn't appear as if anyone did anything intentionally to harm, however, as we all know, misunderstandings can arise, no matter what.

Everyone here offers valuable support, each and every one of you is important and vital to our community, and each and every one of you comes with your own unique perspective and insight..........and those very unique perspectives and insights are colored by our experiences. Our experiences are what we can share with others which can make such a big difference. And they can also create a divide rather than a connection. We're human, it happens.

Let's honor the season and recognize the connection we all share are the struggles with our loved ones........and our desire to help and support each other.

 

[cubsgirl]

Like MWM, we got guardianship for difficult child 2 without a lawyer and no drama. We simply filled out some court papers (the clerks know which ones are needed), went to court with difficult child 2 and asked the judge for guardianship. We did pay $290 in filing fees but that was it. I definitely recommend guardianship over POA.

 

[witzend]

I wish that BigBlue were still here. She'd know what to do - or at least commiserate. Her daughter was always into using phones inappropriately. I wonder how things have gone with her. That's been ten years, at least.