Though not much to update. He is home, will finish rTMS this week. Will be on sick leave at least till the end of the month, will then talk with his psychiatrist and team doctor about what next. Everything is very much up in the air at the moment. Really good news is that TMS has been really successful for him and his depression score has gone from deep on the severe depressed area to around mild/moderate cut off. It will be seen how long the symptoms stay on this level. Apparently for some TMS is only effective for short time after treatment ends (and it may not be as successful with second try to even those it worked well first time.) At home the biggest difference we can notice is on affect. He has had reduced affect for a long time due to PTSD and we have got used to consider that as a norm and so his affect feels almost normal to us, when it a little over a month ago was so flat, he didn't seem to be alive at all. With more normal affect of course comes to being more irritating, but we will try to manage. He has been helping hubby's sister and dad with various farming etc. work and hasn't complained about it really at all. We have tried to gently raise a topic of something else and about his plans for future. He still hopes and strongly argues his future is as an athlete, but I don't really know. I don't even know if he believes it himself. While working with his grandpa outdoors is great for him right now, we have tried to gently nudge him to consider also different possibilities for his recovery time/future/plan B (for him we talk about recovery time.) There would be few courses in non-degree program of nearby University that are often taken by people trying to prep for medication school entrance exam. There are also for profit courses specialised to prep for only that exam but in those most student are 'traditional'; this year's High School graduates or kids who tried last spring and weren't successful and now have their second attempt. The non-degree program has bit more mature and varied group many trying the same. Ache still says that becoming pathologist is his plan B and even if applying to medication school would not be something he wants to do this spring (and to be honest, as competitive as admissions are, both entrance exam and other admission criteria are like made for Ache, he would very likely get in simply prepping himself) he would meet the varied group of mostly youngish people with all kinds of life experiences and detours, but still determined to make it. Not a bad peer group for Ache at this point. Ache would also most likely do very well in those courses and at this point I think that succeeding in anything would be a huge thing for his self-esteem. He feels like quite a loser right now. It's not easy to have him at home and we are all walking on eggshells right now, but I have to admit having him home is a huge help with our new puppy. I started with my new job last week and it will keep me crazy busy. Our puppy is just three months old and of the breed that doesn't have double coat. And we are currently having -17 F and yet sea is still open which makes quite a weather. House training a puppy that needs coat and even shoes for any stay out longer than minute is quite a task and Ache has taken up that task, which is a huge help.