So. I'm not a frequent watcher or the Oprah show. But I caught a small part of her show today. I don't even know in what context this fit into the show, but this bears repeating. And I hope it helps someone. I read here often about parents (mostly moms) feeling guilty. There was a mom on the show, talking about how she felt bad because she looked into her sons "unforgiving" eyes. Well, "The Ope" (that's what we lovingly call her here in Chicago. We're all like close friends with her and stuff.) had the life coach from her magazine on the show. She told this mom that parents love their children, expect that their children see that, and follow that example. But the fact is, children watch how parents (again, mostly moms) view THEMSELVES, and THAT is how they treat others. This mom had not forgiven herself for whatever the reason was (I missed it). There was another mom who was so depressed, but lived only to please her child. She could not understand why her child did not love himself. It was because the mom did not love HERSELF. The life coach said that she had met one man in her life that was very well adjusted. When she asked him about his childhood, he said that his mother "loved life", no matter how it got. Remember, it is not "God never gives us more than we can handle". It is "With God's help, I can handle anything LIFE gives me". Total "aha" moment. I hope that this helps somebody.