That's the piece that I didn't like. I know I was as connected to my husband as much as anyone ever could be. For some reason, that connection wasn't enough to sustain him. Love is not the cure-all we would like for it to be.
I felt a bit the same. Then I realized the focus was how addiction is handled. It is a short talk that covers one aspect of a very complicated topic.
I think it is hard too, because drugs are so prevalent at universities. So, which came first, the chicken or the egg?When he went back to university this fall, and it wasn't what he thought it would be and fell into a depression, dropped out, and the drug use increased again.
I think it is a good decision. I hope that he is able to get a job and stand on his feet, Colleen.We have all decided he would be happier in his own place. I think we would be happier too. Plans are for him to get a full time job and move out. Hoping it happens sooner than later.
I agree. I like your soapbox.Kids today are the third or fourth generation to grow up with less and less of a "village" around them. It used to be, you had uncles and aunts and third cousins all over the county you lived in and the next two over. The neighbor was a lady your mom went to school with. Everybody knew you, and you knew everybody.
I didn't watch the video for this reason- thanks Colleen and all for taking the hit for me...I was afraid of one more opinion that indicated I had a part in this!
No one tried harder at connecting than many of us have. Connecting by definition brings two together--impossible if one continues to pull away."The opposite of addiction is connection."
This is our story in every respect.In our case, my two seem more connected to friends who share the same viewpoint on drug use. They disconnected from family. Family became a means for predation, in order to continue the drug lifestyle.
..and yet, I so want him to know the love we still feel, the desires we still have for him to make it. His correlation has always been Support=Love, support to him being $ and assistance regardless of his choices, responses, attitudes. It's not a two-way street if we are being used, that's a fact so hard to assimilate as loving parents.What are ways to stay connected, without going down the slippery slope of enabling?
When talking about addiction and connection, I honestly don't think parents or childhood family is what they are talking about. Of course, for some people things go wrong in their childhood family, but for many others, they lost that connection to life along the way.I didn't watch the video for this reason- thanks Colleen and all for taking the hit for me...I was afraid of one more opinion that indicated I had a part in this!
No one tried harder at connecting than many of us have. Connecting by definition brings two together--impossible if one continues to pull away.
Your son sounds like mine. I did send my son to rehab at 15 for "only marijuana". Guess what! He still went on to other things so don't feel that you missed the bus on this one.I posted too soon. What about the drug culture we're in now? It's everywhere. Marijuana is legal so many places now and totally de-criminalized. I don't know how I feel about that. I hate to sound like my parents and say the music is corrupting kids, but I think it is. Drugs and alcohol are glorified, along with this example of total disrespect for authority, for people in general. Why is it that I walk through the mall and see clothes, stickers, cell phone cases, skateboards and more with marijuana leaves on them? How is that okay? What is the message that is being sent? How do we fight that? Drug references are in the music, the products, the media .... and it's all so commonplace, all so normalized. Then our kids get hooked and we're left to wonder why. I was actually told, "there's not much to offer to help your son because it's only marijuana". Only marijuana?! In kids? In my kid. I just want help and think if I could have gotten help when he was only experimenting with "just marijuana", I wouldn't be in the place we're in now. I just don't get it and I am so frustrated. How do we change it? What's ahead for us and our families?