Another gut wrenching phone call

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Wakegirl, Feb 27, 2013.

  1. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    I thought yesterday would go down in history as a "good" day. difficult child spent the day at his new "home" doing laundry, organizing his new room, and even did some of the aunts laundry. difficult child's girlfriend took him to get a haircut and then to his favorite restaurant. I talked to him and he seemed in good spirits. Then my phone rings at 9:30 last night...

    It's difficult child's girlfriends aunt on the other line. She said she thought she was going to have a good report for me, up until an hour ago. difficult child's girlfriend was there, and about to leave to go home. difficult child announced that he was going to hang out with his buddy that he had previously been living with...the one that smokes spice. The aunt put her foot down and said no sir! Well, nobody tells difficult child what to do, so that turned into a few words exchanged. The buddy pulled up and difficult child's girlfriend goes outside to tell him to leave. difficult child never made it to the truck to tell his friend himself. He said he was going to, but the girlfriend flipped out and did it for him. Well, as soon as she told his friend to leave, she got in her car, locked the doors, and was trying to drive off as difficult child was trying to stop her. I think he realized his mistake, but she wouldn't give him the time of day. So, he threw his body on top of her car to try to get her to stop. I'm sure there's some yelling going on, and the neighbor sees/hears the situation outside and calls the police. The neighbor is a preacher, and came outside to talk to the both of them. He said some things that made both of them stop and think. The police pull up, and pretty much tells them that they need to call it a night. In the meantime, the aunt has set all of difficult child's belongings outside on the front porch. She said she thought she could handle it, but she just can't. I called difficult child to see what his demeanor was like. I know how angry he can get, especially if his body is coming down from not smoking spice in a few days. He seemed so calm, and confused as to why things got out of hand. He admitted that he didn't like being told that he couldn't go hang out with his friend, but he knew he didn't need to, and was going to tell his friend himself. I feel like the girlfriend (who will be 17 next month) maybe caused more drama than necessary, coupled with him not like being told he can't do something, and things got blown out of proportion. The neighbor drove him and all of his stuff to meet another friend (that is drug free). The last text I got from him was that the 2 of them are going to the Coast Guard Center today to talk to someone about enlisting. My fingers are crossed ever so tight.

    I was going to try to make it to the office today. I've been under the weather with the flu. But I can't make the tears stop this morning, and I can't tell if I feel so bad, still from the flu, or from being so sad and disappointed. When will this nightmare/heartache ever end? I want my sweet, smart, funny, drug free son back so bad that it hurts.
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry wakegirl. It sounds like he is still using and that is causing his erratic moods. I know when difficult child was living here and wanted to hang with her drug friends and we wouldn't let her she went nuts. In hindsight it was very obvious when she was looking forward to the pot and an obstacle was put in her path. Once she calmed down her mood was very different. That's when I knew there was a physical component to her pot smoking.
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    As Wakegirl I am so sorry....although not totally have 2 immature teens not ready for a relationship or a baby combined with drug use. It would kind of be a miracle if it worked out but I was hoping for that!

    so I think your mantra needs to be what you mentioned what do you want to do...he needs to think about what he wants, how he is going to get there and what kind of help he needs from you. Then you get to decide what you are willing to do or not do. I think the main thing is for you to step back and not come up with solutions for him.


  4. Karenvm

    Karenvm Member

    So sorry. I know how devastating this is. We walk on eggshells, hoping things will be okay, and it is so hard when they are not. Hang in there!
  5. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    Thanks for the encouragement from each of you. I put my big girl panties on and went to the office for the afternoon.

    difficult child has started texting me, asking questions about treatment. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much, but at least he's inquiring. It's a start.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hugs. I am really pulling for you, and your difficult child.
  7. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    I'm sorry, but I think difficult child is saying what he needs to say to move back into your house. Please be careful during this time.

  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Barbara. He is way to unstable to be in anyone's home. He needs treatment now.
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Sorry to hear that the arangement went downhill so quickly. Your son does need treatment and he probably should not come under your roof untill he does. FWIW My difficult child went wild when I told him he could not go to a holiday party where there would be drugs and that is when he broke my ribs. Be careful and take care of yourself. -RM