My daughter is 25 and has just returned home after splitting up with her partner as she was stealing from her and her family, was caught stealing from a store, lying about having a job and been taking cocaine.
We put my daughter out the house when she was 21 after a few years of exactly the same behaviours, stealing from us and her sister, totally fabricating full scenarios in minute detail about her job, her uni, and other situations she was apparantly in which proved all to be lies. I took her to joint counselling just before we threw her out at 21 and it was a waste of time, she spent therapy sessions complaing about her me her dad and sister, everything was everyone elses fault, she would verbally admit things were wrong but immediately back it up by blaming someone else, the environment, etc etc and her war cry was "I lied because I didnt want to disappoint you" .. We spoke for hours and hours on many occassions about all we wanted was her to be a good person and is she was that she would never dissapoint us etc. She is now back home after this breakup where I cant even begin to put into words the things she has done and I am sure I am only going to find out more as times goes along, saying she thinks she has a problem with cocaine and thats why she has done all these horrible things, I know you will maybe think I'm being really harsh but I'm not 100% in on that theray I'm not convinced thats the reason or that it just sounds like a "good excuse" I have spoke to her ex partner and she admits she took it for "recrerational" purposes but has found evidence shes been doing it alone too, however she didnt seem to think she had a big problem with it. I dont know, it would be the easiest thing for me to accept that then I would feel that at least there is a reason for this behaviours and not that she is simply a horrible person, She is the most manipulative person I have ever met and I truly believe she would convince proffessionals that it was everyone else to blame. We are calling doctors today to set up an appointment but I have no real convidence she will follow through. I am at my wits end I honestly dont think I can go through all this again, oh and her 17year old sister is away at uni and I feel so guilty she has to come home to all of this, she listened to so much of it in her earlier years. Any advice would be amazing! I am completely lost! x
We put my daughter out the house when she was 21 after a few years of exactly the same behaviours, stealing from us and her sister, totally fabricating full scenarios in minute detail about her job, her uni, and other situations she was apparantly in which proved all to be lies. I took her to joint counselling just before we threw her out at 21 and it was a waste of time, she spent therapy sessions complaing about her me her dad and sister, everything was everyone elses fault, she would verbally admit things were wrong but immediately back it up by blaming someone else, the environment, etc etc and her war cry was "I lied because I didnt want to disappoint you" .. We spoke for hours and hours on many occassions about all we wanted was her to be a good person and is she was that she would never dissapoint us etc. She is now back home after this breakup where I cant even begin to put into words the things she has done and I am sure I am only going to find out more as times goes along, saying she thinks she has a problem with cocaine and thats why she has done all these horrible things, I know you will maybe think I'm being really harsh but I'm not 100% in on that theray I'm not convinced thats the reason or that it just sounds like a "good excuse" I have spoke to her ex partner and she admits she took it for "recrerational" purposes but has found evidence shes been doing it alone too, however she didnt seem to think she had a big problem with it. I dont know, it would be the easiest thing for me to accept that then I would feel that at least there is a reason for this behaviours and not that she is simply a horrible person, She is the most manipulative person I have ever met and I truly believe she would convince proffessionals that it was everyone else to blame. We are calling doctors today to set up an appointment but I have no real convidence she will follow through. I am at my wits end I honestly dont think I can go through all this again, oh and her 17year old sister is away at uni and I feel so guilty she has to come home to all of this, she listened to so much of it in her earlier years. Any advice would be amazing! I am completely lost! x