Willowbe
New Member
My alcoholic/addict son, 31, was released from jail November 7, 2016, having been arrested July 8, 2016. He called me on November 8 to tell me had been released. The conversation was short, 2.47 minutes to be exact. From what I understand a plea deal was offered and accepted, court was held unexpectedly, most of his charges were dropped. He went from three felony and several misdemeanor charges down to two misdemeanors and released. During the phone call I asked him if he had a plan to stay clean and sober and within a breath he was telling me how controlling I was and the call ended pretty quickly. I felt like space was needed and didn't make any contact for a couple of weeks. I wrote him a letter telling him I respected his space, but that I was concerned about his sobriety and that I loved him. Since the day he called me after his release from jail, I have not heard a single word from him.
He is married and has a 22 month old son, he also has two daughters from a previous marriage, 6 & 11, and he lost custody when he was arrested and they are now living with their mother out of state. There has been very limited contact with his wife. While my son was incarcerated we found out that he had been involved in more criminal behavior that he had not been arrested for and we sat down with his wife and told her, and this has led to the limited contact with her. We really thought that being honest was the best....we are only as sick as our secrets.
The hardest part of the entire situation is knowing I have no control over him. I can't make him talk to me and quite honestly I am torn. The sane part of me says leave him alone and let him live his life and you take care of yourself and live your life. The insane part of me is obsessed with the whole situation. Why isn't he talking to me, what did I do, why isn't she talking to me, will I get to see my grandkids. It is so difficult to quiet a brain that is whirling as fast as a hamster running on it's exercise wheel.
Thanks for letting share this.
He is married and has a 22 month old son, he also has two daughters from a previous marriage, 6 & 11, and he lost custody when he was arrested and they are now living with their mother out of state. There has been very limited contact with his wife. While my son was incarcerated we found out that he had been involved in more criminal behavior that he had not been arrested for and we sat down with his wife and told her, and this has led to the limited contact with her. We really thought that being honest was the best....we are only as sick as our secrets.
The hardest part of the entire situation is knowing I have no control over him. I can't make him talk to me and quite honestly I am torn. The sane part of me says leave him alone and let him live his life and you take care of yourself and live your life. The insane part of me is obsessed with the whole situation. Why isn't he talking to me, what did I do, why isn't she talking to me, will I get to see my grandkids. It is so difficult to quiet a brain that is whirling as fast as a hamster running on it's exercise wheel.
Thanks for letting share this.