Hi I am new to this site. I am sitting in bed, while my son is just down the road sleeping who knows where. My husband has told me if I give him any more money he is going to leave. You see I am the weak link. My son has a mental illness and drug problems. We have been battling with this problem for 16 to 17 years. He is 35. He has been married and has two little boys. His wife threw him out because of his drug habits. We then came to the rescue again and tried to get him some help by bringing him home. His mental health was pretty bad, anyway we were making some headway when He met a girl who like him has some issues. He then began the drugs again. We convinced him to go to rehab for a month which he did, but then came home and went straight back with this girl. We thought maybe they would be okay, as he had done rehab right. So we helped them with bond and they moved away. Then they would get behind in the rent and we would keep helping them , plus her family was helping them. Neither of them work. It became a regular occurrence after we helped a few times to catch up on rent. Then money for food or sometimes I would just buy them groceries. I know I am an enabler. After a while we decided enough was enough and stopped the support as they just could not manage to pay their rent. They eventually got evicted. And so began living In their car, my son had put all his belongings in storage but got behind in this as well, we paid a few months for him to help him catch up. We had to stop supporting them. Eventually we did. They came home a few times but due to their disrespect for other people, we often end up in arguments etc. so they would take off again. Then last year our son rang us desperate for help, said they were split up and could we help him get home, and he had lost his licence again. So I sent my other son and a mate to pick him and the car up. We began the mental health route again, got him back on his medication. Then he got back with her and left again. A couple months later I get a phone call from a mental health nurse, he's in hospital and crying to come home. So we get him home again. Again they have broken up. He was like a two year old child. After we got him back on his medication which takes about ten days for him to begin acting normal again, he was feeling good so went out. He didn't come home for two days and when he did he told us he and this girl were leaving in the morning to go away together. At this stage this girl was not allowed at our home anymore. We get sick of having to lock up our medicine when she was here. Well after all we had been through with him this did not end well. It ended in an argument and a bit of a slap up between my husband and son. My husband nearly had a heart attack and my son was so upset and just grabbed his bag and left. We did not give them anymore money and decided that was it he coud not come home a again. Then they began ringing people, my sons former friends and making threats. They rang us and threatened to come and burn our house down. She was doing all the talking but we could hear him in the background. Up until then he had never acted like this towards us before. Then I made the worse decision of my life, we decided to ring the police and report the threats. It was not only this we were getting harassed for money all the time. 10 to 20 phone calls every weekend, possibly more. So the police came and we put an AVO on them. My son is not allowed to ring us (but due to his mental state he doesn't understand this and just keeps ringing. But as it was my sons girlfriend on the phone being the spokesperson she is the one being charged with intimidation. So court case is this week. She has been arrested already last week for other crimes, we are not sure what they are. Some would be for shoplifting. She is currently in jail. But is being brought down for the court appearance. Well now my son is alone and really distressed. He blames us even though her arrest does not have anything to do with us as our case has not gone ahead yet. He is here in our home town and is ringing us and telling us he is homeless and it is our fault. It is our fault we are sending his girlfriend to jail. He hates us. Going to kill us, and even made threats to my daughter and her children, all the while begging us for money so he can get accommodation. And you know what I want to pay for some accommodation for him as I can't stand the thought that he is down the road from us sleeping as a homeless person. I also don't believe his threats are genuine. He has not shown any signs of violence before. My husband thinks I'm crazy. I keep blaming my self and going over everything that has happened and just keep thinking if only we had done this different or that different. Could we have handled things differently. I just want a happy family life with my children and grandchildren. I am so distressed I don't think I'm am going to be able to handle the court case. He is so angry at us. I tried to explain to him tonight when he rang to try and get money from us that threatening us that by making threats to us he has gone over the boundaries. But he just doesn't understand. My husband says he is going to report him again as he is not meant to ring us. The thing is I know he has mental health issues, and doesn't understand what is going on. But I can't help him. I live in a small town where there is no support. I have been given the number of a counsellor who deals with these types of problems and I am going to see him at the end of the month in the city. But I just don't know what to do until them, my husband and other two children have written him off and don't want to try to help him anymore. But I still do. I want to convince him to go to rehab, but he says he doesn't have a problem and now that we are charging his girlfriend with intimidation I have no chance of ever being able to reach him.