Hi All. I had a great time in Texas. I took my almost 81 yr old mother to see her oldest male grandchild get married. We spent 3days in San Antonio doing all the sites. We walked and walked, rode streetcars, ate Mexican & BBQ food and drank Margurieta's. The weather was great, the scenery beautiful. The wedding was an outdoor early evening affair. Colors were pink and green. Dinner and dancing. Just alot of fun. We then traveled to Houston for a day to see the groom's younger brother and his wife and 9mo old baby. Here's the irony. husband and I are college educated, type A&B personalities, did everything we could to raise two difficult child's to go to college and hoped that we'd live just a normal everyday life and family. My sister is the mother of the groom aka nephew #1. Nephew #1 is biracial, gifted, has BiPolar (BP), was hospitalized, has made many poor decisions, is now married and a teacher. Nephew #2 is also biracial, met a girl in college, got a 4.0 gpa, got married, and is also a teacher. He's also a poet. I sat at the table with the groom's friends who were all culturally diverse, all college graduates or attendees, many athletes, all had goals and desires and most of all....drive. My sister, had an interacial marriage in 1975! was a victim of DV, single mother for years, divorced husband due to drugs, he went to jail, she remarried him, had all the problems with her BiPolar (BP) son, etc, etc, etc. Both of her boys are well educated, achievers, independent, and will be fine productive members of society. Why? why do I feel pangs of jealousy, why do I want more than I have, why do I still feel twinges of self doubt as a parent and a mother, why didn't I do something different, why couldn't it have been me being the one who her sisters were getting her ready for the wedding. Why? I know I/we did the best we could. I know my difficult child's are succeeding in their own way. I know we could'nt have done anything different. But at this present moment...."why" does not equal "I know". Time is the best healer and at this present day......I sure do hope and pray that time will be what I need.