Been through a lot, hoping to see light at end of tunnel..

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by enzo, Jan 16, 2014.

  1. enzo

    enzo Member

    Seems like difficult child has been pushing limits for two years straight since returning from intervention. Every week its something..either we find pot or he does something dumb (speeding tickets, unauthorized withdrawals from atm, cuts a class, stays out past curfew). We have taken to withholding driving privileges as usual consequence and that seems to mean something.

    he is working harder on his school work last month as the college he wants to attend has waitlisted him and will only accept him if he shows effort in these last few weeks. He is incapable of motivating himself to do it so we have been carrying him academically (I got a 95% on my history project last week!). Even if he gets in , he will do a gap year (which he'll fight us on, like everything else)..

    Tonite we had a big fight because he wanted to host a party tomorrow night..good news is that while he did start frothing and screaming, the worst thing he threw was a bag of chips, and he actually calmed down and got over it after only an hour of badgering and harassing.

    So its been a 2.5 year journey that feels like a decade and he does seem to be maturing and focusing on his future some, but he is still up for anything stupid and who knows if his enthusiasm for self destructive behavior will ever be balanced by his responsibilities as he enters adulthood.

    in 5 years time, he could either be a college graduate, be living in our basement, in the army, or on the street...I think he'll always come back because he likes creature comforts and warmth of home...I don't know does it sound like its getting better??
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah it does. He's 17? 17 year olds are pretty notorious for behaving in some pretty bizarre ways, seems boys have their own type of teen behavior.............but your post has a lot of positives in it. I think raising a teen can be an extraordinarily difficult job for parents and your son seems as if he is going through a rough patch which of course means that you are too. But you mentioned he's working harder, wants to go to college and calmed down quicker, around here that's spectacular news............. and sometimes as good as it gets................I'm sorry, I really understand how challenging it is for YOU, hang in there, there appears to be improvement, small as it might be for you, but it's going in the right direction..............
  3. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    Does it sound better? I don't know. I haven't read any of your earlier posts, but I'm having trouble with "Every week its something..either we find pot or he does something dumb (speeding tickets, unauthorized withdrawals from atm, cuts a class, stays out past curfew)." as progress...

    Recovering is right. 17 is different than 19, and being in high school and at home and a minor are all kind of in your favor...but you doing his schoolwork, his idea that he is entitled to a party (and throwing anything when he couldn't have one)...and your list of misbehaviors all sound serious to me. My daughter, now 19, did a lot of that stuff too, and in the end is a easy child...I truly believe it was a phase, and do not expect another shoe to drop...whereas her brother is a difficult child for life, no matter if he has good periods, I know that too. I don't know where your son lies, and probably neither do you....I just really hope for you that you can set really firm boundaries around those behaviors, and not, in fact, let him live in your basement in 5 years, especially not if it is because he still ikes speeding and staying out past curfew.

    Your son is still a kid. Good you are alert and watching out.
    I wish you luck.

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