Bio family's hoover!

[mstang67chic]

difficult child's grad party is today....which, by the way, means that I'm going to type and run. I've got a lot to do yet this morning.

Anyhoo....I call bio g'ma last night (R) to give her directions as she and difficult child's aunt/uncle (C/G) live almost 2 hours away. Turns out R can't come....she's been sick all week. I'm disappointed but understand. She sounded bad on the phone too. THEN she asks if C had talked to me. I"m thinking....THAT doesn't sound promising and tell her that I haven't heard from her at all.

Turns out, C & G take a yearly vacation and/or cruise and they left yesterday for their cruise. Again....understandable but disappointing.

My problem? Do you think C could have taken 2 bleeping minutes out of her oh so busy life to call and let her nephew know that she wouldn't be making it to his party? %^&*(*&% NO!!!! This is the same woman who was so relieved, grateful, happy, blah blah blah blah blah that we contacted her after we adopted difficult child. She was soooooooooooo worried that she wouldn't see him again blah blah blah blah blah. Uh huh. They would keep him over spring break and for a couple of weeks in the summer when he was younger (with our blessing). Then it slowed down....then it stopped completely. She NEVER calls us....we have to call her. Her husband G is, in my humble opinion, a total donkey hole (Sorry Star) so I didn't expect anything better from him. It has literally been YEARS since I've spoken to the woman.

difficult child is just crushed. I"m trying to not make such a fuss over it so maybe he won't feel so bad but I know nothing is going to help. Plus....if I start talking to him about it, I'm liable to start going off on these people and that's not something I want to do in front of him. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !@#$%$##@@!!#$#%^^%$##R%^&* mad at C I could spit railroad spikes.

 

[JJJ]

Gggrrrr....stories like that make me grateful that my kids bio-families stopped contact when they were really little.

I hope difficult child can enjoy his party with those people who love him enough to be there

 

[KTMom91]

I'm sorry, Stang. I understand. I get steamed at Miss KT's father and grandmother several times a year for the stuff they do...like not saying goodbye when she left for college...

I just hate seeing our kids treated badly by people who say they love them. Hope you have a fabulous party and difficult child is happy!

 

[klmno]

I can see my mother doing something like this, too. I agree with the others- try to keep it all focused on the ones who are there because they are the ones who really care. I hope he has fun and learns to take this with a grain of salt.

 

[Star*]

I think it was a completely fair trade -
They.......left his life.
Iiiiiiiii came INTO his life.

Kid just has NOooooooo idea how lucky he is. (I do......)

My thought on it could be the unpopular view, but do you suppose the lack of communication could have been with the bio mom asking her sister to STOP? Maybe it was just to painful for her to have her sister come back or to hear about difficult child? Are they jerks? For not keeping promises? Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. For just dumping a kid who had them and then not? YUP. And now that he's older HE needs to tell them that, but I doubt he will. Or maybe he'll surprise you someday and call you on his cell phone one night and tell you in some weird round about way that you (MOM) were really right on the money when you said that his bio-family was nuts. (oh that's ME) lol. Yeah. (And weird, and mean, and not honest, and.......poopey heads_can I say that here?)

No offense about the donkey reference. I'm sure even among J.A's there are J.A's. Know what I mean??

 

[mstang67chic]

My thought on it could be the unpopular view, but do you suppose the lack of communication could have been with the bio mom asking her sister to STOP? Maybe it was just to painful for her to have her sister come back or to hear about difficult child?

Nope, not at all. For one thing, bio mom is in prison. Again. And for another, C and G do not speak to BM.

I am adult enough and distanced enough to think objectively and know that difficult child doesn't need them if this is how they are going to act. It still infuriates me though because difficult child ISN'T. Know what I mean?? He still seemed to have a good time though. I called his G'ma before the party and gave him the phone.....it sounded like they had a nice talk. She's one that will call him out if he starts getting the REAL family attitude. She flat out tells him that WE are his parents. WE are the ones who have taken care of him and given him the opportunities and advantages that he has. She loves him, I know she does, but the only issue I have with HER is that in order to keep from overstepping her bounds or "interfering" she waits for us to call her. But, she DOES keep in contact unlike C and G. Oh well....it's C and G's loss. It's just too bad that it affect difficult child and some of his sibs.

I've got some pics from the party....I'll get them up here in a bit.


Thanks all. I knew you guys would get it.

 

[totoro]

Yes they do Hoover. At least in my experience....
I would have shown up if I was still living In That area!

 

[timer lady]

In the tweedles case, bio family was given no rights; visitation, letters, photos, etc. For this very reason I'm very glad that is the case. I hate to see the disappointment in our children's faces.

Hope difficult child can handle the lack of bio family.

 

[Star*]

Um......Stang....when you say "he" doesn't get angry about being dumped please think about our Dude situation. I swear if there is a nuttier twist of weirdness - I have no idea what it is. Daddy Disney, etc. (insert finger in throat) and yet....there ya go. All of a sudden the kid is Rodney King. (slaps head)