JKF
Well-Known Member
So, to fill you in. difficult child has been in the psychiatric hospital for a week for threatening suicide. I've had minimal contact with him and haven't done any of the usual calling and trying to get him help, etc that I would normally do in the past. Why? Well, because at this point it's truly a waste of my time and energy. 1. difficult child doesn't want to follow through with anything and help himself and 2. He's burned all of his bridges and no one will help him anymore. So I sat back and did nothing and I've been 100% ok with that. I've actually had a very peaceful week. Until now.....
The social worker from this psychiatric hospital just called me here at work. She was absolutely HORRIBLE! SO MEAN!! She was very judgmental right from the get go and said things like your son is homeless and mentally ill. Why won't you take him in? Why won't you or any other family members try to help him? I tried to explain and give her a brief history but she cut me off and was very rude. She said they are at a loss and they don't know how to help him. That THEY called MHA and OTA and neither will help him. She said he's burned all of his bridges. Really b*tch? NO f'ing kidding!!! Even though she was rude and trying to intimidate me and make me feel guilty, I was very firm with saying NO. At the end of the call, she basically hung up on me.
This call triggered my PTSD big time. I had a full blown panic attack right after the call. Shaking, sweating, unable to breathe, dizzy. The works! It was so reminiscent of the hundreds of calls like this I've had in the past regarding difficult child.
And to think, I lived like that for YEARS. Dealing with these people day after day, and call after call after call, having to explain myself over and over and over again. Panic attacks several times daily. Wow. This was a huge reminder that I don't ever want to live like that again. I've done a really good job at pulling away from my difficult child and I know in my heart it's the right thing to do at this point. It's been the hardest thing I've EVER done in my life and it's nearly destroyed me and the rest of my family but I've come a long way and I can't turn back. I love my son, I'm devastated that I can't help him, and it kills me that this is his life, but I KNOW I can't change his situation. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling and lack of structure with this post. My brain feels like jello right now and I just needed to vent.
The social worker from this psychiatric hospital just called me here at work. She was absolutely HORRIBLE! SO MEAN!! She was very judgmental right from the get go and said things like your son is homeless and mentally ill. Why won't you take him in? Why won't you or any other family members try to help him? I tried to explain and give her a brief history but she cut me off and was very rude. She said they are at a loss and they don't know how to help him. That THEY called MHA and OTA and neither will help him. She said he's burned all of his bridges. Really b*tch? NO f'ing kidding!!! Even though she was rude and trying to intimidate me and make me feel guilty, I was very firm with saying NO. At the end of the call, she basically hung up on me.
This call triggered my PTSD big time. I had a full blown panic attack right after the call. Shaking, sweating, unable to breathe, dizzy. The works! It was so reminiscent of the hundreds of calls like this I've had in the past regarding difficult child.
And to think, I lived like that for YEARS. Dealing with these people day after day, and call after call after call, having to explain myself over and over and over again. Panic attacks several times daily. Wow. This was a huge reminder that I don't ever want to live like that again. I've done a really good job at pulling away from my difficult child and I know in my heart it's the right thing to do at this point. It's been the hardest thing I've EVER done in my life and it's nearly destroyed me and the rest of my family but I've come a long way and I can't turn back. I love my son, I'm devastated that I can't help him, and it kills me that this is his life, but I KNOW I can't change his situation. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling and lack of structure with this post. My brain feels like jello right now and I just needed to vent.