Castle Queen
Warrior in training
Warning: This could be long.
So I got an email from Knight's Sp Ed teacher yesterday. I will call her Mrs. C. She asked me to call her regarding "the incident on Monday." She was concerned by his reaction when it was discussed with Mrs. C. I'm like, what incident on Monday? So since it was evening and the school was empty, I asked Knight.
Turns out Knight received a detention in Phy Ed Monday. Supposedly he called a girl a wh***. But he said he didn't, he admitted using the word but was referring to the screen print of the celebrity on her tshirt, who he thought was Miley Cyrus. As in "She's a wh***." I explained that even using the word at all was a punishable offense, but he was fixated on being wrongly accused for whom he had directed his remark to. He also received a "suspension" from class for the week so will lose out on those participation points. He's only making a C as it is for messing around and not following the rules.
So I called Mrs. C today. She said Knight seemed "cold" and didn't seem to care that he had hurt the girl's feelings. (the teacher wasn't the one who reported him, the girl went to the principal and was crying.)
Mrs. C: I don't know that we are going to be able to do anything for him. I don't know if the school can give him the help he needs.
Me (losing it a little): He has had the IEP for barely two weeks and it sounds like you are writing him off
already. Based on this one incident.
Mrs. C: I'm just saying if this doesn't work out there is another program. Blah blah (didn't quite catch the
name but it was something mental health.) Does he have any other diagnoses besides ADHD?
Me (look in the IEP and you will see his diagnoses): Yes. Social Anxiety Disorder is the other confirmed diagnosis.
Went on to discuss that this incident didn't seem to have any triggers that met their hypotheses of what supposedly motivates Knight. I responded that since the school hadn't emailed, mailed, or phoned me I couldn't comment. I had no details save what Knight told me. I suggested that Knight should apologize for what was said, even if misinterpreted, as a consequence.
Mrs C.: That might be uncomfortable for the girl.
Me: He could write a note.
I explained that sometimes it was just a matter of no impulse control and having no filter to stop what you know you should not say, from coming out of your mouth. I pointed out that difficult child "blurts" and this is documented several times in the teacher interview portion of his IEP. I explained that difficult child was probably fixated so much on the fact that the school was "wrong" to say he'd called a girl that name, that he couldn't see his part in it to take his portion of the responsibiity. I said I'd observed that he seemed to have trouble holding himself together all day and seemed to be taking turns as to which class he was going to act out in. Maybe he needs some sort of break during the day. For a kid with social anxiety disorder, there is not much that is really a break, even lunch.
Mrs C.: Mmmhmmm. Mmmmhmmm.
I don't think she listened to a word I said. At least she is going to make sure Knight's apology note is delivered. That's something.
Thanks for letting me vent. But I feel like the school isn't really very invested in helping him, at all. I think to them he is coming across as a bully.
So I got an email from Knight's Sp Ed teacher yesterday. I will call her Mrs. C. She asked me to call her regarding "the incident on Monday." She was concerned by his reaction when it was discussed with Mrs. C. I'm like, what incident on Monday? So since it was evening and the school was empty, I asked Knight.
Turns out Knight received a detention in Phy Ed Monday. Supposedly he called a girl a wh***. But he said he didn't, he admitted using the word but was referring to the screen print of the celebrity on her tshirt, who he thought was Miley Cyrus. As in "She's a wh***." I explained that even using the word at all was a punishable offense, but he was fixated on being wrongly accused for whom he had directed his remark to. He also received a "suspension" from class for the week so will lose out on those participation points. He's only making a C as it is for messing around and not following the rules.
So I called Mrs. C today. She said Knight seemed "cold" and didn't seem to care that he had hurt the girl's feelings. (the teacher wasn't the one who reported him, the girl went to the principal and was crying.)
Mrs. C: I don't know that we are going to be able to do anything for him. I don't know if the school can give him the help he needs.
Me (losing it a little): He has had the IEP for barely two weeks and it sounds like you are writing him off
already. Based on this one incident.
Mrs. C: I'm just saying if this doesn't work out there is another program. Blah blah (didn't quite catch the
name but it was something mental health.) Does he have any other diagnoses besides ADHD?
Me (look in the IEP and you will see his diagnoses): Yes. Social Anxiety Disorder is the other confirmed diagnosis.
Went on to discuss that this incident didn't seem to have any triggers that met their hypotheses of what supposedly motivates Knight. I responded that since the school hadn't emailed, mailed, or phoned me I couldn't comment. I had no details save what Knight told me. I suggested that Knight should apologize for what was said, even if misinterpreted, as a consequence.
Mrs C.: That might be uncomfortable for the girl.
Me: He could write a note.
I explained that sometimes it was just a matter of no impulse control and having no filter to stop what you know you should not say, from coming out of your mouth. I pointed out that difficult child "blurts" and this is documented several times in the teacher interview portion of his IEP. I explained that difficult child was probably fixated so much on the fact that the school was "wrong" to say he'd called a girl that name, that he couldn't see his part in it to take his portion of the responsibiity. I said I'd observed that he seemed to have trouble holding himself together all day and seemed to be taking turns as to which class he was going to act out in. Maybe he needs some sort of break during the day. For a kid with social anxiety disorder, there is not much that is really a break, even lunch.
Mrs C.: Mmmhmmm. Mmmmhmmm.
I don't think she listened to a word I said. At least she is going to make sure Knight's apology note is delivered. That's something.
Thanks for letting me vent. But I feel like the school isn't really very invested in helping him, at all. I think to them he is coming across as a bully.