Confused and tired

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Linda Hall, Apr 23, 2018.

  1. unheard

    unheard New Member

    Hi everyone I am new on here and would like to share.
    I have a son who has been in and out of jail since he was 16..he is now 35 and recently arrested again.
    I have lost family and relationships trying to help him. He has a daughter who has been living with me since she was 3 and now is 11. I am a single grand mother.
    He has a mental illness and is receiving a benefit from the government. He is on drugs not sure what kind but has symptoms of Schitsofrenia but not sure if it is the result of the drugs. Can't seem to get any help as he is in and out of jail and the judge doesn't seem to recognize that he should be in a institution and assessed instead of jail.
    I feel guilty and cry every night for him as not sure if he thinks anything is wrong for him. He has had lots of chances to get help but I can't make him. I feel so sorry for him but shouldn't he know what is right from wrong? The system has failed him and don't know what else I can do as he chooses this lifestyle.
     
  2. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    So sorry to hear about his troubles and your stress.

    I don't know much about schizophrenia, but someone her can likely help. Stick around.
     
  3. Cindy1104

    Cindy1104 New Member

    I too feel guilty and cry every night over my daughter. Please know you are not alone its the hardest thing a parent must go through.
    It's hardest when you know they need help and just won't and there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry for your pain someone on here is struggling with your same situation it does help to talk about it. Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself.
     
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello and welcome. You will find a lot of understanding and support here. One thing, if that is you real name I suggest that you change it for privacy reasons.

    ~Kathy
     
  5. unheard

    unheard New Member

    Thank everyone for there concern but I am lost and want to fix my son but I am always told he has to fix himself. What if he does not know how and won't get help.
     
  6. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    Do you think he is self-medicating with other substances?
     
  7. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    He doesn't have to know how to fix himself. He can get a therapist to give him coping skills and aid.

    If he won't go for help, he will hit rock bottom and then maybe he will accept professional help.

    In the end, nobody can fix another, not even a beloved child. It is up to the person.
     
  8. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    Is it a little different for schizophrenia though? I have an uncle with it and when he is off medications, it is nearly impossible to convince him he needs help. Plus he was notorious for stopping the medications randomly. In those cycles, kind of like bipolar, isn't some outside help often needed.

    Again, just my anecdotal experience.
     
  9. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    It's no different with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or any other illness. The afflicted individual has to accept treatment, which includes medication compliance. It is a CHOICE not to be compliant with life-preserving, life-saving medication. In the case of serious mental illness I believe the stakes really are that high.
     
  10. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Schizophrenics often become seriously paranoid and truly believe everyone is out to kill them and that the medications are poisen. They then have no ability to reason and do not understand that their thinking is abnormal or that they are sick. Lots of books on this. Bipolar in a stage of true mania can also be complete psychosis with the same inability to understand that they are sick as a schizophrenic.

    Although they are still the only one who can authorize help for themselves, due to rather unsettling laws, if they are operating in a different reality, they don't even realize they are hallucinating. This is like telling an Alzheimer patient to make a good decision about his treatment.

    I feel awful for the parents of schizophrenic children. It is different than other issues. They need antipsychotics to tame the psychosis, but often think the treatment will kill them....vicious cycle. Sad disease.
     
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  11. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    Thanks for articulating swot. That was the thought I was trying to get out.
     
  12. CareTooMuch

    CareTooMuch Active Member

    How do I change my screen name? Thanks!
     
  13. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    Click on your current user name in upper right of screen. This will take you to your profile. Then click personal details. You should see a list of choices, click username change.
     
  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Dad. I saw schizophrenics when I was in the hospital (psychiatric) and they were incapable of a rational discussion and often just rambled nonsensibly or worse screamed on terror. Until the medications kicked in they were incapable of making any decision. Some tried to hurt themselves. I never forgot it.

    I don't thinkany people understand how mind altering schizophrenia is. Bipolar I, which is the only type of bipolar with psychosis is the same when the person is psychotic. Many lesser forms of bipolar are not as severe.y therapist recently told me that my diagnosis is not mood disorder not otherwise specified but bipolar II which is not so serious bipolar. I never get manic (shrug) and only had one episode of hypomania when I was a teen. But they one episode made me bipolar II.
     
  15. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    You can investigate and give him ideas on where and how to get help but only he can accept that help. This is actually the conversation that I had with my counselor this afternoon. There are many organisations that can direct him to help shelters, welfare, counselors... Good luck to both of us.
     
  16. unheard

    unheard New Member

    My son has not been diagnosed with any mental illness because he is always in jail and is totally slipping through cracks. he is an introvert and won't ask for help because in his mind he thinks he can handle it.. He is always scared and thinks everyone is out to get him but the courts just blame it on drugs and don't test him for any thing else. I am afraid he will be a lifer because he is afraid of responsibility and won't try. I am afraid for him but I have done all I could and he doesn't seem to follow through with anything. His daughter is heart broken and he has no more resources as he lost everything including any family. The courts don't help by throwing him in jail and not recognizing after all this time that he needs help and does not get it in jail. So far, charges are theft but who knows he seems to be getting worse.
     
  17. CareTooMuch

    CareTooMuch Active Member

    Thanks!
     
  18. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Is he out of touch with reality as in he sees and hears things that are not real but he think it is? Does he talk to things or people who are not there? That is psychosis.

    If he does understand reality and doesnt hallucinate but blames others for his problems, that is just not taking responsibility and is not a SERIOUS mental illness. You may think this way and have depression or anxiety but it is not the same thing and will not get the same fast treatment that somebody with psychosis will get. It is impossible not to know that somebody with schizophrenia/psychosis is very ill. It is easier to skip depression and anxiety and often this comes with a bad attitude when the person does something wrong. This can fall through the cracks.

    Our jails have become our mental health system. It's sad.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
  19. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    And they are not good at it. I have been through similar experiences with the legal system. Unfortunately Mental health system did not provide what they should have. Instead of when they had the chance to regulate his medications they turned him over to the police even though what he was charged for happened during a 302 procedure. Later he went to the hospital voluntarily and the two doctors couldnt agree on medications so they released him without. Sorry to be a downer but the system needs fixed.
     
  20. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Our country is in serious crisis for those who are mentally ill.