Court Today

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, Aug 10, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    difficult child is in custody. He thought she was a flight risk. She will spend the next week in DT.

    The judge went back to the last time we were in his court room where he let difficult child go from JJS custody. He said "You hired "so and so" (our Lawyer that use to be the public defender in his court room) and you didnt think the system was working for you." (Yes there were problems-but we were not trying to get out) I could not let that go because that is not what we asked for. I stood and explained we were asking for continued help but because she tried to committ suicide in the care of this Residential Treatment Center (RTC), we could not send her back because we did not feel she was safe. He tried to nail me but the procecuting attorney, of all people, went back to the transcripts and told him what we were asking for. So my gut was right. He saw this attorney, decided we got him to get her out of the system (the lawyer's history) and didn't hear a word we said. And one year later here we are in the same mess with difficult child. Literally-there is such a small amount of progress.

    We go back next Friday-I will loose extra pay for teacher inservice-story of our lives with this kid. PO wants her to go to secure care-very little therapy there that meets her needs. I will insist on a DBT therapist if I have to pay for one. Judge said that if he had to decide today he would not send her there. Even the prosecuting attorney did not think this was a good idea. On the PO's side was the fact that she researched Borderline Personality and related that to everything that difficult child said to her. She is smart. She told us to send our recommends and she would get them to the attorney. She also said that she has had a tough week thinking about difficult child and what would help.

    The judge told difficult child-" I have never in all my years on this bench seen more loving parents who go the distance for their kid. That has never been a doubt for me. difficult child, you go back and talk to the other kids who are waiting to be transported to DT. You wont believe their family histories. When you finially get that you have amazing blessings, and talents, you will begin to heal." Boy did I need to hear that from him. He has been such a tough, moody, human to deal with. My husband and I at least have that to keep us strong.

    Please pray for us and that God will guide these tough situations.
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2012
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm thrilled the judge said that to difficult child, and I hope the right decision for her care will be made soon. I'm also hoping she takes the time to count her blessings, stop thinking like a victim, and progess through therapy. Please take this week to catch up on your rest. You just can't exhaust yourself and get completely rundown again. Sorry about losing pay for next Fri.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Do rest and go out to dinner with husband and enjoy each other. I totally understand the loss of pay.That has been the story of my life since my difficult child started school.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    At least she is safe for a while and hopefully the judge will send her to a place that helps her heal.
  5. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    I know today was totally draining plus you have next Friday to face. However, i am so thankful you have a judge that grasps the situation in some respects.

    Praying DT is a help.

    Hoping you can get some rest and find some peace.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Keep this in the back of your mind- in the courtroom for a juvenile offense, the kid is not seen as one who needs help UNLESS it's determined that the parents need help in how to raise the kid. Typically, it's a determination of "the safety of the public" or the publics' rights. This isn't an IEP mtg- the people in the courtroom believe they've done all they're going to unless something comes out about the family that justifies the kids' actions. There's a real fine line for a parent who is trying to hold the kid accountable without throwing under the terminal bus.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto, AG. Hugs DDD
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I know that it felt good to hear the judge say those words....

    I think difficult child needed to hear them even more than you.


    Thinking of you during this stressful time....