Cussed out by a stranger

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ML, May 18, 2010.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    Strange day. This morning started out with my losing patience with manster. On our way to school we were having a conversation about upcoming field day and how he had to have his work done or he'd miss it. I asked him if others often miss field day and he said only the "stupid" ones, you know the ones who go to special classes and are rarely in the main class. I lectured him for the upteenth time about treating others with respect, just how you want to be treated. That people didn't ask to be born with disabilities or problems. I asked him how he would feel to be teased and he said "but there's nothing wrong with me" to which I asked him how he would like to be teased for being a little overweight or for his eye blinking tics. He was mad at me and walked out of the car in a huff as we pulled up to school. He just doesn't get it.

    Then, after work while I walked back to my car I did a dance with a stranger on the sidewalk as I was about to enter the parking structure. You know how you go one way thinking they are going the other but you wind up in the same spot. I apologized and he looked me up and down with disdain and said "you don't even exist to me". I thought for a minute he was going to deck me. He went on to say something about his brown skin and my white skin and how we teach our kids you don't exist too. I said I don't understand he's like "there's nothing to understand, you're nothing"... and I said, as he started walking away "well God bless you" and he went off asking whose God and I said something like maybe it's the same and he said "oh no the f it isn't you "b"... I should probably haven't engaged with him at all.

    It was so sad. That someone has that much anger towards a stranger. It made me sad to think of all the people throughout history who have been judged or hated for being different on any level.

    Kind of a strange day. On a positive note, as soon as I got home from work Manster approached me with a cookie. He said they had a cookie party at school and he brought it for me and that he was sorry for how he behaved this morning. I guess there *is* hope for him yet.

    Lasted edited by : May 19, 2010
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh my God, ML, how devastating to not only be spoken to in that manner but that a person actually goes about his life thinking in that way is just the saddest thing to me...and that he teaches his children to think and behave that way - I'm just heartbroken. What must he have gone through or been taught to feel and behave in that way? To a perfect stranger.

    Wow, I am so sad over this because I know it's not an isolated incident. I guess we have to continue to have hope in others, that for every one like him, there is someone who feels the opposite and embraces other people regardless of color, religion or whatever sets us apart - we're all humans afterall. Sending lots of hugs, ML.

    Re: difficult child - all I could do is laugh my rear off (I wish I literally could laugh my rear off these days) at his comments. My difficult child never sees her own behavior while she's criticizing another for the exact same behavior!! Yikes!!!
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Somewhere a village is missing their idiot.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you had to deal with such a person. How sad that he gets that angry and what terrible racism he is spouting. Hugs.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    So - are you thinking that he may have herd some of your conversation with Manster in the morning? Although even then, it doesn't make a lot of sense, unless his own mind misinterpreted it all (and given his responses to you, he sounds like he has a massive chip on his shoulder) and put racist constructs on what you said to Manster. But if so - he then clearly would have been brooding on it all day and then when he saw you, chose to have his say.

    Is there a chance, now you replay this in your mind, that the chance meeting sidestep was in fact him being deliberately confronting? You know - he could have MEANT to step the same direction you did in order to add to the confusion?

    I would just shrug this off, the guy clearly has his own agenda and you don't want anything to do with it or him. He expects misery and kicks, and with that attitude, that is what he is getting.

  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    There is something wrong with this man. It's so hard to not let these people into our heads. I'm sorry that you had to be the one that he "ran into" today.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I had a similar neighbor once. He was new to our apartment complex and asked me to watch his kids before and after school. I had to stop because first the one child wanted to do crafts but wouldn't put on a big shirt or apron to cover his clothes because he didn't want to catch "white germs". Dad tried to say he had not taught them that, that he had just gotten custody from their mom (which was true).

    Then one day I HEARD this man tell his kids to ignore me because "white people don't count so you can tear their stuff up all you want." He went on to encourage them to spit on my floors, poop on the bathroom floor and not in the toilet, to tear up my kids' stuff and even to try to wipe germs on thank you, who was not yet one. The kids NEVER came into my home again. I had been trying to work on some problems with the kids (NOTHING as bad as he was encouraging) but to hear him encourage them and even praise them for doing stuff to us, well, I was done. I let the school know that I would NOT have anything to do with the kids. He lost a job because of it. He had to leave work and pick them up at school because no one else would watch them either.

    There are some very sad, very sick people in the world. Race just gives them one more way to be sick and stupid.

    Don't let the man upset you. As my Daddy says, Love people who treat you that way. It drives them NUTS.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow Susie. That's insane!

    ML... There are a lot of people like this... I came up with my own way to deal with the strange strangers... When they act like that, just send up a little prayer/thought for them.
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Marg, you're right. My interpretation was loose to say the least, I guess I was reaching for it to all make sense in a world that often doesn't. You don't get to tie all the looses ends up in a bow -- or that it ever makes sense like at the end a 30 minute sitcom lol. I guess I was hyperfocusing on the fact that we're born into a world without getting to choose (like the color of our skin or whether we'll be rich or born to a crackhead)... and that both manster and this stranger made harsh judgments that just seem to perpetuate the cycle of ignorance. And I probably can't control any of it.

    OMG Susie, that's horrible. And sad and ugly. I gues all you can do is shrug it off and go on. I did say a prayer for him as I drove home and now it's time to move on.

    Thanks everyone,

  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    ML, he was wacko. End of story.

    Good for Manster about the cookie!
    You're right. He doesn't get it.

    Star, LOL!
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Ditto to what Terry said.
    Ignore the stranger. Chances are he's got some major issues.
    So sweet what Manster did. Says a lot about his inner workings, huh?

    by the way, I am reminded about a mom the other day who told me she was taking her kid to school in PJ's and curlers. A man (stranger) whispered to her in the car "I want to marry you." She said it was disturbing on a number of levels. :tongue:
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a weird situation.

    Nomad...That is odd. It does remind me though of something that happened when I was pregnant with my first son. Back then I was still thin and what I would think pretty good looking. You couldnt tell I was pregnant when I was sitting in the car.

    Well, this group of guys were circling the car my mom and I were in leering, whistling and yelling things to get my attention. Kept asking things to try and get me to come get in their car and go with them. Like I would! Well...I got out of the car in all my pregnant glory and yelled...."Hey mom...thats him! Thats the guy who knocked me up!" You should have seen them take off in the car! LOL.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Janet, OMG, that is priceless!!! ROFL!!!
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    In a crowd ? I may have been tempted to turn star gazed and follow uttering "Messiah? Is that you? Are these your teachings?? Should we do likewise?? " Then hit the ground and started to bow repeatedly.

    :tongue: You know - witnesses for when the box of Ritz pulled out a set of stars and started throwing.......
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    My brother (the younger one) can be very arrogant at times (he's not been so bad lately). He also used to drink to excess, and when he had been drinking he was even more difficult to get on with, had to have the last word, bragged constantly (supposedly in a joking manner) and generally was overbearing and acting like the head of the family (he's not even oldest son, certainly not oldest child. Nor the smartest).

    We were at a family dinner, we'd all met at a restaurant to have dinner together, all of us siblings and our children. Brother was talking loudly about how wonderful he was, and I was getting really fed up with him. I caught the eye of one of my sisters - she was finding him hard to take as well.
    Then bro launched in with, "God was saying to me the other day..." and I interrupted him with mock concern and shock, and a hand on his arm.
    "Bro - that's dreadful. Surely not - I thought you WERE God!"

    The look I got could have felled an ox. I decided it would be prudent to go sit on the other side of the room, with my nephews.

    It was one of those classic moments when you DO think of something to say at the right time. But sometimes even when you do, you realise that it is time to leave the scene, before it backfires!