I saw my daughter yesterday morning walking through town with some druggie looking guy (sorry for the judgy reference). She had her backpack and sleeping bag on her back. She wasn't coming from the direction of the park at least. But heading toward it. After crying and praying (two more new daily hobbies) while I drove home to have an empty, unproductive day, my husband and I decided to go out for the evening. Dinner then local casino we enjoy playing penny slots and listening to music...oh well not the healthiest thing but neither of us have issues w overspending. Trying to enjoy being out and decompressing....my daughter texts me. "Just wanted to say hi and see how you are doing"..."fine how are you doing" I ask. She said her stomach hurt from a medication she takes (for horrible psoriasis). I said I hope she feels better and that was that. I just feel so sad for her. I want to bring her home and tuck her in. Haven't seen her since Mon when I took her to town. I know enabling comes in many forms and I know I am going to slip up. I am sick of beating myself up for allowing her back home once in a while. This is so hard. I want my spirit back. Nothing interests me....nothing excites me. If she decided to get better and be productive that would probably excite me. How pathetic....to be so codependent in someone else's life path. I need to find again myself and do things for me.