I guess the Holidays are getting to me. I dont know but for some reason I have no energy, I'm not sleeping at normal times, and I haven't really done anything for days. difficult child spoke with husband and told him she wasn't coming for Christmas that she was going to work for her grandfather over the Holiday and didn't have time. I'm still not speaking with my parents. I guess I am just lonely. I have friends here and that is great but for some reason I just can't pull myself out of my hole. I need to clean and grocery shop but that isn't going to happen. easy child is driving me crazy with her homeschooling and I just can't stand the thought of another day stuck in the bed with her whining about homework. For some reason even though husband is the most loving man in the world and easy child is a sweet kid I just feel abandoned. It is killing me that I have lost so much in so little time. I really want my daughter and family back but I just don't have the energy to beg and I don't want to. I know my sanity would plummet if I did pull them back in and right now that scares me more than not having them does.